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Author Topic: Unuldor Jr'einfer - In his mind  (Read 3482 times)

Rixula

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Unuldor Jr'einfer - In his mind
« on: March 30, 2009, 03:18:54 PM »
Winter time. The worst time of the year i believe, perhaps it is because coldness and snow...i didnt have those things back at Athasian.
I do not feel the cold because of my amulet, it wouldnt matter if i run naked...foolish thinking of me...
Thinking..nowdays Sable has been only in my mind, why i cannot forget her..as she wished..i just cant, sorry Sable..its love i believe, this must be love?
Eldur has been troubled by Joey, but now they seem fine...i dont feel anything for Joey, strange..not even hatred when she first smacked me and then almost punched my teeth in my mouth..quite hard hit it was, but i swear if she hurts Eldur i will kill her and burn her as a witch..
There is..it feels like there would be nothing for me in this place, what i could achieve..?
It feels like a challenge..to get out of this place and live a normal life..whit Sable, yes that is what i wish.
I still feel i have a lot to learn..but Nara'ia wont teach me, she believes she have no right to teach me just because she made mistakes, it doesnt really matter...we all make mistakes and regret them later, swim in our own sea of pity..sounds foolish enough for me.
No, i must be strong! Who else would be strong for me...i dont know if i can trust even in myself, the madness..it sounds so wonderful right now..to fall in the sea of madness and forget everything, but no. This is the challenge i was given and i will face it rightly to my end..and maybe win.
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"Sometimes, when you feel alone it is the time when you are most thought of"

Rixula

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Re: Unuldor Jr'einfer - In his mind
« Reply #1 on: April 02, 2009, 07:00:21 AM »
Today, i got some breakfeast for Sable and ate some bread myself...thought the fish was left on the table when she told me about her decision she must make between me and Torben, this was not a suprise to me..i knew that Torben liked or..well loved her, i feel sorry for Torben..thought i will show it to no one, it's sign of weakness.
We headed to temple and met a elven lady named Naisha and ended up heading to north to face the lich Elketh, everything went well even thought Elketh was not here but Naisha got killed on the way back..we carried her back to temple and got her raised.

It must be difficult for Sable, to make decision like that..perhaps a new day will lighten me up a bit.
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"Sometimes, when you feel alone it is the time when you are most thought of"

Rixula

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Re: Unuldor Jr'einfer - In his mind
« Reply #2 on: April 04, 2009, 05:30:21 AM »
An odd feeling has been shadowing my thoughts for a while, the usual sharp mind i once had seems to be gone right now..
I heard from a elven woman, once i told her that my porfession is to hunt and slay, that i am a machine that just kills...in a way i knew this but still it hurt some.
We visited the haunted monastery near degannwyn and easily cleared it and looted it.
She seems to be so full of energy...after we left from degannwyn i taked her to the werewolf caves, we cleared that also whit ease...i wish to find somekind of challenges in this land...
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"Sometimes, when you feel alone it is the time when you are most thought of"

Rixula

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Re: Unuldor Jr'einfer - In his mind
« Reply #3 on: April 06, 2009, 10:12:38 AM »
I have felt a strange changes in me, i have been drinking...i hate it but something in me wishes to relax and listen ot my own voice time to time.
I hope Sable does not notice the smell of alcohol in me, i have to cover it up whit something..maybe i should eat more and only drink somewhere more private, Eldur, Joey and Ssiensa noticed that i was drinking, i was so ashamed of myself..i have to stop, i wish to stop...i need to change, again.
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"Sometimes, when you feel alone it is the time when you are most thought of"

Rixula

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Re: Unuldor Jr'einfer - In his mind
« Reply #4 on: April 07, 2009, 05:41:54 AM »
I havent seen Sable for a while and i am beginning to worry for her, but i trust her now and i let her travel and study her herbalist skills now.
Joey, she doesnt seem so unstable right now though she tries to drive me nuts whit her words, but mostly i ignore her..i shouldnt do so, i still dont trust her either. It will take time to trust her..a bad habit of mine.
Maybe i should start to actually live and enjoy the time i still have left, whit friends and Sable? Maybe..as Lyndis said i still have that darkness in my heart that blurs my senses fully sometimes..at night, i being to hunger for blood and violence, i wish to hunt something intelligent...in the night...and that i will do, next night, alone and no one will see me,notice me when i strike...
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"Sometimes, when you feel alone it is the time when you are most thought of"

Rixula

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Re: Unuldor Jr'einfer - In his mind
« Reply #5 on: April 09, 2009, 08:23:47 AM »
I can't believe it..i cant control my powers anymore...it doesnt feel as natural as it used to be, as my power would be a different...thing inside me that i am useing, i have to get hold of myself once more but i fear that everyone begins to worry if change again, it is difficult..gah, why i ponder about myself? i have no need to do that.

Sable is Worrying all the time for everyone, i can see it so easily..poor Sable, she tries her best to help but i fear that she will someday cause his friends death and i fear that the friend is me..a nice way to go, by hands of someone you love.

Eldur is changing too..the death of Sera and then slaying her...thing...and then his blood in his veins at the same time, i fear that is too much for him to handle and he will lose himself, as some do.

Alcohol will be put aside till i am back to normal self and i have found the right solution.
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"Sometimes, when you feel alone it is the time when you are most thought of"

Rixula

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Re: Unuldor Jr'einfer - In his mind
« Reply #6 on: April 10, 2009, 12:58:35 PM »
This happened...too soon,wrong place...wrong time...wrong person..
I just went to Degannwyn to buy some potions but i found Elvorien there..giving birth to a child...my child.
Thankfully i found Tarinyar to help in the birth..it went well, child was healthy..but after a moment of rest Elvorien ran off..leaving me all alone whit the child..damnit..i had not this calculated, what i am going to tell Sable? will she accept this?

I named the boy after my father, Ameldor..it seems he have his mothers hair...black as coal and eyes...green as a leaf..but i can sense, that inside him might be the power that i wield also..but it will be..a long,long time before he could use it.
It's strange thought, he havent cried at all yet..should he cry?

Eldur knows that the child is mine and promised to keep it as secret, Joey saw it also but me and Eldur told her that i am not his father but only taking care of it...i hope she believed in our lie since i am not ready for everyone to know..first, Sable must know. i will tell her no matter what.

I hope this will be over soon..
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"Sometimes, when you feel alone it is the time when you are most thought of"

Rixula

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Re: Unuldor Jr'einfer - In his mind
« Reply #7 on: April 11, 2009, 05:41:41 AM »
Sable taked the information...quite well, thought i sensed how angry she was.

I have to find better place for the child, i dont think i can take care of it...but i cannot just abandon my son, this is confusing..i hope she will not do anything foolish..damnit..what i am to say that, i am the fool here to think she will ever come back!
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"Sometimes, when you feel alone it is the time when you are most thought of"

Rixula

  • Undead Slayer
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  • The holiness its not in your you fool, its in me!
Re: Unuldor Jr'einfer - In his mind
« Reply #8 on: April 17, 2009, 03:22:52 PM »
The most unlikely thing that i thought would happen..happened..
I am not sure if Sable has forgiven me but right now she will be in the role of a mother for Ameldor and i believe this is good.
Also! When she takes care of him, i will have some time for myself and go for a hunt and collect money for the future, whatever it holds for us.
Well, that is enough thinking about myself, thought i should ponder one more thing...people have been very nice to me lately and i believe it is only because i am a father now...strange powers are what a baby holds...hah.

Sesh! a dagger as a gift for a baby? whatever that lady thought she must have been quite daft to give such a gift...amulet is nice but A DAGGER!?..*Rolls his eyes*..It might be good to start at young age but it's still too soon when the child doesnt know when he stabs the target or himself and i think i am quite capable of handling Ameldor's training ONCE he reached the right age! Hrmh...

I'm happy..for some reason, i am happy right now that i can take care of Ameldor whit Sable...
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"Sometimes, when you feel alone it is the time when you are most thought of"

Rixula

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Re: Unuldor Jr'einfer - In his mind
« Reply #9 on: April 20, 2009, 07:53:48 AM »
It has been very peacefull thease last few days, only thing that has been in my mind right now is zhakatans and Marle's offer to be baptized.

Sable seems to be very worried about Eldur, but to me he seems to be only taking the normal route if so said "Dragon Spawn".
I only wish the best for Sable and Ameldor, The keep would be a good place to grow up in safety and i hope it could be arranged whit some time.

As most know, i am not very religious person, but Ezra seems to be quite real to me..i saw that she is actually in the mist, controlling it or the mist is controlling her and offering Ezrites some power...this power interests me alot and i wonder if it is possible for me to use it someday.

To say it simple, i hate Zhakatans and i wish to burn them all alive!
I've had my problems whit them in my past, so i try to keep it "neutral" whit them but if one of them makes the first move, all of them will suffer greatly!
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"Sometimes, when you feel alone it is the time when you are most thought of"

Rixula

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Re: Unuldor Jr'einfer - In his mind
« Reply #10 on: May 03, 2009, 01:42:05 PM »
Days have been peacefull...how lovely...i have spend all my time in my work, patrolling and nights usually plundering monster lairs for treasures and then getting the money in the bank.
Sable has been so nice to take care of Ameldor all this time, but it is bothering me that i dont see her much anymore...i miss her and Ameldor so much that i begin to forget simple things like greet eldur at outskirts...i hope he just thought i didnt notice him.

The keep seems rather dangerous, as i have heard from everyone but i still dont see any danger in there, but if do see any that might put my family in danger, we will leave.
« Last Edit: May 03, 2009, 02:20:55 PM by Rixula »
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"Sometimes, when you feel alone it is the time when you are most thought of"

Rixula

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Re: Unuldor Jr'einfer - In his mind
« Reply #11 on: June 09, 2009, 07:41:22 AM »
Some things in the keep have changed my loved one's opinion about it, Sable do not wish to return there.
She seems to be so unsure about things, i hope she understands someday that you cant just change your opinion in different things once you have started them and run off if something is too hard or you dont like it.
I was only suppose to be guardian for Sable, my Oath, but it seems i was not ready for it and fell in love with her.
Ameldor is growing really fast...we have been feeding him quite often, gosh..i hope he wont get fat...thought i'm not sure if elves can even get big and fat...never seen one.
Right now, we are living our days in Port-a-Lucine as a holiday from everything in Barovia. Time to think and ponder what our next move will be...Something inside me wishes to go back in the keep.
Ha! Those thugs at the slums there are really worthless, i often go there and pretend sick, they come to me and the hunter becomes hunted!...it's a good time to earn some pocket money.
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"Sometimes, when you feel alone it is the time when you are most thought of"

Rixula

  • Undead Slayer
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  • The holiness its not in your you fool, its in me!
Re: Unuldor Jr'einfer - In his mind
« Reply #12 on: June 09, 2009, 06:06:51 PM »
We made our way back to the keep and it went safely.
...Atleast there are some good news...Sable told she had some morning sickness and that might mean that she is carrying a child..our child.
i will get back to my duty tomorrow, first i need some rest to clear my head.
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"Sometimes, when you feel alone it is the time when you are most thought of"

Rixula

  • Undead Slayer
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  • Posts: 231
  • The holiness its not in your you fool, its in me!
Re: Unuldor Jr'einfer - In his mind
« Reply #13 on: June 30, 2009, 05:17:15 PM »
The child in her womb is dead..now i sit on the bed, alone. I have nothing left, no trust from anyone, friends...few that i have not seen..enemies, so many.
I have been praying for Ezra, but i have not heard her calling back to...have i failed? have i done something wrong and now she has abandoned me?
Marle, she hasnt changed...still the same, i do not know about her...i am unsure about things, i'm i depressed? that is something new to me...thought, i believe i have a reason to be depressed but it is a sign of weakness...i still do not feel like doing anything...just sit on this bed alone and meditate..everyone has been ill lately..Maybe our illness has a reason..the reason would be, that we all the time cry..inside.
My father told be something, that i have not yet forgotten...
"Life is a survival battle, so hard and simple and even beatifull"
I will not move from this spot before something happens...i will rest my mind and soul from everything and sink into emptiness of my soul...
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"Sometimes, when you feel alone it is the time when you are most thought of"

Rixula

  • Undead Slayer
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  • Posts: 231
  • The holiness its not in your you fool, its in me!
Re: Unuldor Jr'einfer - In his mind
« Reply #14 on: July 15, 2009, 07:17:27 PM »
She has left me, ran away again..there is nothing left for me but this keep,chapel,marle..and Ezra..
Sable is someone who i cannot trust no longer, she is weaklin...by her heart and body she is no longer suitable to server ezra..just too weak.
By my opinion, only those strong enough deserve to server Ezra but we should also have those weaker ones to server the stronger ones, like Sable should be only an acolyte not Toret.
I am too tired of thinking about my own personal problems, now..i will only do my duty and nothing more, thought..i will look after Ameldor, i will not let that weak woman touch or see him ever again, i cannot let her affect my son when he must grow to be strong and wise.
I will hide my face for few days...and meditate to forget my feelings towards her. For me is not to know if Ezra has plans for my feelings, will i fall in love once again or im i doomed to live without feelings for rest of my life, it is her greatness to decise my future now on.
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"Sometimes, when you feel alone it is the time when you are most thought of"

Rixula

  • Undead Slayer
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  • Posts: 231
  • The holiness its not in your you fool, its in me!
Re: Unuldor Jr'einfer - In his mind
« Reply #15 on: July 23, 2009, 07:16:13 AM »
I feel so empty..i'm alone and naked in the darkness..no light for me, no salvation..just loneliness and pain left anymore.
There is no one i can trust anyone, finally i can say....i am alone there is no friend, no companion, no lover...inside me there is just a empty hole that Sable left...i miss Ameldor, he might be the only light i have left..unless i somehow am able to have Sable back..but i doubt it, she is too selfish to come back...even her friends dont care what she does anymore, she is just a human...but it doesnt change the fact i love her.
I wish i could see her...

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"Sometimes, when you feel alone it is the time when you are most thought of"

Rixula

  • Undead Slayer
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  • Posts: 231
  • The holiness its not in your you fool, its in me!
Re: Unuldor Jr'einfer - In his mind
« Reply #16 on: August 01, 2009, 08:37:24 PM »
Dun..du dun...du dun dun...very amusing...i still havent realized how...simple humans are, so easy to read...What should i do next i wonder, well i will see this throught first, like back in old good days in Athas...play with your prey..and then the deadly strike...
I will have my...price.
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"Sometimes, when you feel alone it is the time when you are most thought of"
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