Author Topic: Come Visit the Scenic Village of Barovia!  (Read 6044 times)

Wids

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Come Visit the Scenic Village of Barovia!
« on: December 28, 2008, 01:04:48 PM »

Since Vallaki's churches to the Morninglord have recently been shut down (at least in part due to the Guard's usual simpleminded approach of reaching for a hatchet when a scalpel is needed...), the Outskirts have been considerably less busy.  The Morninglord church on the outskirts once lay at the heart of the community, and with Lizuca and Ilie absent and unable to fulfill their duties--and with their buildings sealed to the public--a great number of adventurous outlanders and unusually brave natives seem to have gone their separate ways, with no locus where they can mingle, trade war stories, collect healing tonics or revive their bodak-eaten comrades.

But it need not be so!

For those who have the wits and the strength to survive the journey, Barovia Village has much to offer!  This village is this great county's truest diamond in the rough, and through the personal supervision of Count Strahd von Zarovich himself (as well as through the village's remarkable lack of sewers), the locals need not fear the scourge of wererats roaming the streets at night.  No bullying Vallaki Guard, no Citadel, no unjust imprisonments, no religious persecutions, no Gavril Constwhatever bellowing you out and burning your pets on a pyre while Konrad Krushchev stuffs frogs down your leggings!  The Barovian soldiers who patrol the Village are well aware that they work directly under the eternally watchful eyes of Count Strahd himself, who will personally swoop in on wings of fury and deliver a resounding punishment for the slightest indignity or indiscretion.  Remember, a perpetually terrified guard is a very diligent and very polite guard!  But we ask tourists to refrain from taking advantage of this courtesy, as Count Strahd's protective scrutiny does cut both ways.

Come and listen to all the other good reasons why you should consider making the Village of Barovia your new home!



The demise of the Morninglord churches lies at the root of Vallaki's currently dismal tourist trade.  But what those tourists don't realize is that the greatest, grandest and most functional church of the Morninglord is not found anywhere near Vallaki!  Barovia Village is home to the Sanctuary of Blessed Succor, the very spacious nave of which is pictured above.  No longer must your troupe of paladins bump and jostle through dense packs of Light Carriers and faithful worshippers to gather and partake of their vows.  Ask Vicar Miklos to make seating reservations for your entire order of paladins.  There's plenty of room!



That's right!  Vicar Miklos...and Vicar Vilhelmina!  There are no mere priests here; the Sanctuary of Blessed Succor is hosted by not one but two highly esteemed clerics of rank within the Morninglord's ecclesiarchy.  That means prestige!  And both vicars are more than capable of attending your needs in regards to healing, curing diseases, reversing drains to one's metaessence or restoring the dead to life.  Vicar Miklos will gladly offer a worthy pouch of coins for your party's extra potions, and Vicar Vilhelmina can even bless your party with a bona fide Bless spell if you ask her nicely!  Now that's faithful and devoted service to the cause!

Unfortunately, neither vicar will offer healing tonics in exchange for phalanges harvested from the undead; you'll still need to trudge all the way across Barovia to the Von Zeklos estate and visit Salvatore Alurto for that service.  But surely you will agree that such a shortcoming is but a small price to pay for the excellent services provided by Vicars Miklos and Vilhelmina, yes?



Can't afford the tithe to raise someone from the dead?  Need to leave the body somewhere convenient in hope that the dearly departed's well-heeled friends will happen by and settle the matter?  Just leave your dead person lying in state with one of the Sanctuary's six charming alcoves!  No raised tiers used as crude funerary biers, no stumbling over mortal remains piled near the altar and no peculiar odors of lividity wafting through the atmosphere during vesper prayers.



The Sanctuary of Blessed Succor also boasts a clerical office, a library, a simple dormitory and a small shrine or prayer room, side areas just bursting with roleplay potential!



There's also a little boy who putters around in the nave.  We don't know why he's here, but this regular attendee just shows how dedicated the Sanctuary is to maintaining a family-friendly environment!  Bring your children, nieces, nephews and grandchildren to morning worship at the Sanctuary, and they are sure to be uplifted with the experience!



(The Sanctuary also features a memoriam to the late and ineffably great Gary Gygax.  Remember that, were it not for Mr. Gygax, you wouldn't be playing Neverwinter Nights.  You'd have to settle for Bioshock, F.E.A.R., The Sims 2 or other such rubbish.  So count your blessings! :P )



So you asked Vicar Miklos if he could do something for your valorously slain comrade, only to be informed that your friend's soul was beyond the Morninglord's reach.  It happens.  So you have a cold carcass on your hands and you don't want to bury it where it might be messily devoured by--or reborn as--a ghoul.  Well, you're in luck!  The Sanctuary has a tidy mortuary and a spacious crypt for those with the means to procure a more dignified final repose.  Never again fear the messy probability of driving an oaken stake through your best friend's heart in order to curb his latest socially repugnant urges.



But for those of lesser means, the Sanctuary maintains a large cemetery on the grounds.  Simply dig a hole and roll the body in!  No muss, no fuss, no frills and no ungainly funeral expenses!  And, as a bonus, beneath the cemetery runs the obligatory crypt-cum-undead breeding pit.  Play a few rounds of Treasure Hunter with the crypt's teeming collection of old grave goods, or launch into your latest crusade against the walking dead in an environment which is cleaner and better lit than anything Vallaki has to offer!

(NOTICE: The clergy of the Sanctuary of Blessed Succor cannot be held responsible for burials or interments which result in rot, decay, sunken graves, plagues, boils, botfly infestations, headstone vandalism, carrion crawlers, grave oozes, ghouls, ghasts, agarats, greater agarats, zombies, zombie warriors, zombie champions, skeleton warriors, skeleton champions, giant skeletons, wights, mohrgs, bodaks or strongly worded letters from the burgomaster demanding that your necromancy-flinging pallbearers "knock it off".)



The Sanctuary's latest structures include a hospice for the sick and dying, attended closely by two Torm worshippers from Faerun who will be happy to welcome your Champion of Torm and chat pleasantly about Torm-related matters while scrubbing the caked filth from leprosy victims.  Now that's compassion!



And the best-kept secret of Barovia is that faithful gift-givers need not scour old, forsaken dungeons in search of Morninglord amulets and Morninglord statuettes.  They have always been sold right here at the Sanctuary's outer gates!  All payments go towards charity organizations, church upkeep, swords, axes, sword sharpening, axe sharpening, garlic purchases and locally sponsored eight-step counseling courses on how to deal with the grief of cutting off the heads of loved ones and stuffing garlic in their mouths.



But a church alone does not make a village...or a community.  That's why Barovia Village features a smithy, a tanner, an herbalist and a woodshop--all within walking distance--to accommodate all of your arts-and-crafts hobbies!  With many interesting herbs in the nearby forests and mountains, exotic ash trees, elusive white stag populations (and many other beasts ideal for skinning), an exposed tin vein in a local nymph's cave and all the free boiling-grade wax you can carry out of Iblis Marsh*, Barovia Village is a healthy and productive village indeed!

(*WARNING: Giant wasp stings can result in mild poisoning, acute poisoning, blood loss, fainting, dizziness, nausea, death, painful rashes, devouring by hypnosnakes, devouring by crystal oozes, devouring by the Drowned Lady, blisters, hives, pustules, painful swelling and embarassing explanations to your friends.  Do not get stung by giant wasps while driving mule teams or operating heavy machinery.)



And if the Village of Barovia is the jewel in the Count's crown, then the Blood of the Vine is the jewel in the Village's crown!  Bray the bartender offers one of the county's broadest beverage selections, and his barmaid serves a king's feast of delectable edibles!  The rates for the inn rooms are the humblest to be found, next to those of the Midway Haven; the finest rooms here cost a mere five Fangs per night, half the county standard of ten Fangs!  Spend a few nights lodged with the Blood of the Vine and you'll be asking "The Lady's what?"



The inn also features one of the most expansive layouts to be found, capable of seating several travelling war parties at the same time!  Relax with a bottle of Barovian wine and a game of cards with local cardshark Pavel the Upright as the musician troupe plays your requests.

(For extra excitement, ask Bray if you can attend the next club meeting he hosts for the Keepers of the Black Feather, ask him how he became a wereraven, and be sure to express your heartfelt desire to assassinate Count Strahd von Zarovich.  Revel in the hilarity of watching Bray stammer for answers, followed by a passing DM slapping you down with shouts of "That's OOC knowledge, n00b!" :lol: )

The Village of Barovia is seated in an incredibly scenic locale, surrounded with such laudable sights as Castle Ravenloft, the poisonous fog which traps us within...I mean...which encourages visitors to support the local Vistani tribe with their commerce, the Village's impressive burgomaster residence, the Tser Falls, the Tser Pool, an ancient darkling-inhabited circle of stones, the breath-stealing Iblis Marsh and the adjoining River Iblis, always a favorite with local anglers.

With so many assets, the Village of Barovia is destined for great success!  If anything could hinder the Village from becoming the next Vallaki, it is her distinct lack of a merchant of Ciprian Murnu's calibre.  But with your continued support for Bildrath's Mercantile--the store where dyes are very helpfully categorized and sold by type--we hope that Bela Bildrath's business can expand to merchant-prince proportions.  Through the commerce of a growing and prosperous community, anything is possible!

Come along with us!
Join the families of the Barovia Village community today!
« Last Edit: December 28, 2008, 02:37:01 PM by Wids »

ThAnswr

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Re: Come Visit the Scenic Village of Barovia!
« Reply #1 on: December 28, 2008, 01:17:48 PM »
You're killing me today.   :roflmao:
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Wids

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Re: Come Visit the Scenic Village of Barovia!
« Reply #2 on: December 28, 2008, 01:33:36 PM »
...but not in the fatal, soon-to-be-undead way, right?   :D

ThAnswr

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Re: Come Visit the Scenic Village of Barovia!
« Reply #3 on: December 28, 2008, 01:51:29 PM »
Around here, you never know.  I say surprise me.   :mrgreen:
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Wids

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Re: Come Visit the Scenic Village of Barovia!
« Reply #4 on: December 28, 2008, 05:46:10 PM »

ThAnswr

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Re: Come Visit the Scenic Village of Barovia!
« Reply #5 on: December 29, 2008, 03:02:19 PM »
Thank you.  I spit coffee out my nose.  Happy now?   :lol:
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Wids

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Re: Come Visit the Scenic Village of Barovia!
« Reply #6 on: December 29, 2008, 05:33:42 PM »
Thank you.  I spit coffee out my nose.  Happy now?   :lol:
Sure!  But I want to make you happy as well.  Here.  Dress up a snowman and make him dance!  :mrgreen:

(Also, come to the Village of Barovia!  Quick!  Before everyone realizes that Shadowspawn opened the Vallaki churches again....)
« Last Edit: December 29, 2008, 05:38:23 PM by Wids »

blackgoku23

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Re: Come Visit the Scenic Village of Barovia!
« Reply #7 on: January 27, 2009, 06:06:54 PM »
Are you kidding me ROFL... Dancing Snowman Priceless
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LawfulJoe

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Re: Come Visit the Scenic Village of Barovia!
« Reply #8 on: January 28, 2009, 12:11:40 PM »
Thank you.  I spit coffee out my nose.  Happy now?   :lol:
Sure!  But I want to make you happy as well.  Here.  Dress up a snowman and make him dance!  :mrgreen:

(Also, come to the Village of Barovia!  Quick!  Before everyone realizes that Shadowspawn opened the Vallaki churches again....)
Now that made me smile :D

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Re: Come Visit the Scenic Village of Barovia!
« Reply #9 on: January 28, 2009, 12:44:32 PM »
Too often i see people ignoring NPCs in the village and just zooms by with their magic effects on.  :|  Take a minute when you are in the village, rp with people. The trip between Barovia and Vallaki takes about a day and a half when walked and RPed rather than ran through the whole way and there's a ton of nice areas to roleplay in over there. The bood of the vine inn etc.

Stela Cojocaru - barovian snake
Crina Ovidiu - barovian guard

ThAnswr

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Re: Come Visit the Scenic Village of Barovia!
« Reply #10 on: January 28, 2009, 02:36:57 PM »
Too often i see people ignoring NPCs in the village and just zooms by with their magic effects on.  :|  Take a minute when you are in the village, rp with people. The trip between Barovia and Vallaki takes about a day and a half when walked and RPed rather than ran through the whole way and there's a ton of nice areas to roleplay in over there. The bood of the vine inn etc.

I've tried to attract Bray for dinner and a dance, but he won't accomodate. 
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bluespark

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Re: Come Visit the Scenic Village of Barovia!
« Reply #11 on: December 01, 2021, 05:48:35 PM »
Hmm, where is Bildrath's anyway?

JustMonika

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Re: Come Visit the Scenic Village of Barovia!
« Reply #12 on: December 01, 2021, 05:58:33 PM »
Hmm, where is Bildrath's anyway?

You may not have realised, but you are replying to a 12 year old topic.

Forte

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Re: Come Visit the Scenic Village of Barovia!
« Reply #13 on: December 01, 2021, 06:00:20 PM »
You know, despite it being necro'd to the point of me realizing this thread is older than half my siblings, the original post IS grand and a great viewing into what the state of things were previously.

Otherwise, very funny and random reply to it.
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ObsidianOrb

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Re: Come Visit the Scenic Village of Barovia!
« Reply #14 on: December 06, 2021, 06:11:32 PM »
LOL can we do this again please! I would love to see the cat set amongst the pigeons  :w00t:

bloodless

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Re: Come Visit the Scenic Village of Barovia!
« Reply #15 on: December 06, 2021, 06:44:25 PM »
Strange necro but fun read of the OP. And yeah, that we can't make proper use of VoB isn't technically a crime, but it should be.
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bluespark

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Re: Come Visit the Scenic Village of Barovia!
« Reply #16 on: December 08, 2021, 11:56:14 PM »
Scrolled through and found something already related to a subject and rather than just starting another thread, added on here.  Curious about that spot where it has more mist and guess I can get past with some item, action, clothing, generic supply but haven't solved that just yet. There's also a bunch of things that like to "take an interest in you" along that route.  Yikes