You have been taken by the Mists

Author Topic: The Diary of Dragomir Katzinkaly  (Read 2023 times)

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The Diary of Dragomir Katzinkaly
« on: June 01, 2008, 12:29:48 AM »
*Somewhere, sometime, in the future or past, a book is found. Perhaps it is found in a library, perhaps it is found half burned in a fireplace somewhere, or in the forgotten chest of a hag, or even alongside it's Companion Book "The Diary of Anna Smythe" but it is found. Bound in sturdy leather, unremarkeble except for it's durability, the tome is filled with the life and simply written words of Dragomir Katzinkaly, Barovian peasent*

Entry 1

Anna's started keeping a diary, and I realized i've never really recorded my thoughts in writing. I am not a profound or complex man, but for my people I am a black sheep amongst white, an oddity. Maybe someone will read this someday, and they'll know, not all Barovians are inbred ignorant savages.

I've been many things in my life. A Soldier, a Guard, a Torturer, a Mercenary, and even a fighter of Demons. Working for the Vallaki Guard I learned how dirty, and unfair the world of soldiering really was- I served as the armed fist of a sometimes corrupt system, desperatly fighting to maintain order. I've tortured men, innocent men, for forced confessions to crimes they didn't commit, in the name of saving face for the government. I've also fought bravely for my country in open war, against unlikly odds- few against many, cannons roaring and men dying, and I lead those men and I lead them to victory. I never enjoyed the dirtier side of the business. I had a chance to live out my dreams of wartime glory- I even saw the Count in person once. I saw him personally kill traitors. After I met Anna, it wasn't long before I retired and joined the Red Vardo.

In The Vardo, it was much the same. A ruthless crime family that straddles the edge of social parasite and private executions guild. Silencing traitors, exploiting foolish consumers, and even fighting a demon in a secret job for the Count while trying to help a band of cultists summon another in exchange for information. Dirty business, evil business. I only joined for the money, and I got out when my wedding to Anna drew near.

Anna. How can I describe Anna. I don't usually believe in fanciful romantic bullshit- life is a cruel harsh thing. But Anna. . . What we have is true love, love that only comes once in a thousand years. Not lust, not affection, but love. She completes me, makes me be a better person. I ground her, help her to be a better person. She's beautiful and kind, but smart, and not at all sappy or foolish. A woman with a formidable and at times, ruthless mind. She matches me in everything. What we have -is- something special. What we have together is probably better then whatever you, dear reader, ever have. Arrogant? Maybe. But it's the only way I can describe the sublime happyness I feel- happyness from a bitter cynical man whose suspicious of everyone and everything.

Our love, my love for her, is a beacon of hope in this godforsaken shit stained piece of rock we call our world. She makes everything bearable, everything okay. I could devote pages to her, writing the same things over and over, and not grow tired of it. So i'll just stop.

We'll be having a baby soon too. It just blows my mind. Everything is going right. That niggling voice of doubt thats always in the back of my mind, that voice of cynicism that tells me "It's always brightest before it goes pitch black", that voice is gone. Silenced by Anna. I can finally feel optimistic about something, about someone, about my life. I don't know if i'll be a great father, but I know Anna will be a fantastic mother, so we'll even each other out. Once we have the money we're leaving Barovia for someplace a little less blatently deadly. We only want a simple, rustic life, where we can raise our children in peace- nothing outrageous. Best not to tempt fate anymore then I already have by being happy.

For the first time, everythings going to be okay.

Daciana Varzaru- "If fate is a principle beyond Human comprehension which capriciously torments man, then it is karma that man confront fate with sorcery."

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Re: The Diary of Dragomir Katzinkaly
« Reply #1 on: June 03, 2008, 05:23:07 AM »
Entry 2

After a talk with Finn, I had started to worry about what I actually would do if something happened to Anna. It may be unmasculine to say, but I can't really imagine living without her anymore. Never the less, we talked about it one night and she told me if the worst should happen, it would be OK- she just wanted me to be happy, so long as I kept her in my thoughts. I know thats what you'd expect anyone to say to such a question- who really even thinks about it? But one of the things I admire about Anna is the honesty of her spirit. Both of us try to say exactly what we're thinking, and even acknowledge when we're being selfish.

I've been doing more research so I can take care of Anna better while she was pregnant, I talked to some Outlander barbarian who apparently was the midwife and healer for her "tribe", she gave me lots of useful facts and tips for the pregnancy. It turns out it'll be safe for Anna to travel, even while pregnant, so long as I don't exhaust her. She can also chew on Cohosh root for the pain- most importantly she has to keep fit and healthy. Not a problem, Anna has always been an active girl. I'll have to hold her back and lift heavy things for her when she becomes more laden with child.

I also found out Finn's a father, and he's not going to be taking care of the mother or the baby. Even knowing everything I know about Finn I was shocked. My initial thought was that I needed to beat him thoroughly, but I found the anger I used to call upon is no longer there. I guess being with Anna really has softened me. I certainly know being around her does- when she's around I can be just as mild when you please. I'm the same old bitter cynical dark humored bastard as always when she's not. I'm kind of proud of that- both that I can put away my negative nature when i'm with her, and that I can maintain my edge even when totally happy. I also played hero today, rescuing some lady from vampires. Of course I bitched the whole time, so they wouldn't get the wrong idea. I find cussing and complaining when you perform acts of Heroism tends to prevent people from taking it for granted- in any case they seldom do it again because they don't want to put up with me. Everyone wins.

I saw Cornelius today. I dunno if he recognized me but I definatly know I want that perverse necromancer no where near Anna. A Black Priest of his power is a dangerous enemy though- hopefully it'll just blow over. No ones harming Anna, no ones harming my baby. I see too many children killed, eaten, or sacrificed simply because some madman decieds he has to be bad. At least I know i've become a mighty warrior- as mighty as warrior's go anyway. Mages and priests hold the true power, at least the seasoned ones. I guess we all have our parts to play though.

Daciana Varzaru- "If fate is a principle beyond Human comprehension which capriciously torments man, then it is karma that man confront fate with sorcery."

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Re: The Diary of Dragomir Katzinkaly
« Reply #2 on: June 04, 2008, 12:06:41 AM »
Entry 3

In the blink of an eye she was taken from me. In the whisper of a breath, she slipped away.

Everything is in ruin. Anna is dead.

Daciana Varzaru- "If fate is a principle beyond Human comprehension which capriciously torments man, then it is karma that man confront fate with sorcery."

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Re: The Diary of Dragomir Katzinkaly
« Reply #3 on: June 04, 2008, 05:21:30 AM »
Entry 4

What am I going to do? What can I do? Anna is gone and my life has no meaning or purpose. She was my light, the one who made me feel hopeful for the universe- now i'm lost in a sea of melodramatic shitheads and pittyless thugs.

I spoke more with that girl, Suzette. Fake as a porcelain doll. She seems genuinly distraught by how Anna died, no suprise, Anna was a rare woman... a Miracle, as she put it. But she also admitted she tried to weedle me and Anna together to benefit her, and then she tried to say nothing really mattered. I threatened to behead her and asked if that mattered. She claimed it didn't, but I'd like to think I got through to her. A sword near the throat usually does. I would've done it too. What would they do, kill me? Hah.

When life and death stops mattering, your either the most alive or the most dead person in the world.

I visited the Mage's Tower. There was a woman there who specializes in hunting Vampires. I dunno what i'm going to do yet, but I need more information.

Daciana Varzaru- "If fate is a principle beyond Human comprehension which capriciously torments man, then it is karma that man confront fate with sorcery."

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Re: The Diary of Dragomir Katzinkaly
« Reply #4 on: October 04, 2008, 12:14:22 AM »
Entry 5

It's been a long time since i've seen or opened this book. Just reading the old entrys opens wounds I'd hoped were closed. I'm having one of my depressed spells again.

It's been a while since Anna died. For a while I entertained thoughts of vengeance. I started researching Vampires after I contacted that woman in the tower deep in the Balinoks. I learned alot...from freinds, and from old books. And Van Richtens Book. I learned how to fight them, I learned how they think. I learned one of my best freinds, Rozalina, is a vampire. I learned my Count, Count Strahd, is a vampire. I idolized Strahd the First as a child. He shaped my existance. When I discovered Strahd XII WAS Strahd the First... it almost broke me again. My whole world felt like a lie.

The phase passed. I'm ready to fight- fight anything, if the opportunity came up. But my opportunity to crusade agains evil never really came. I got a dayjob being a bouncer at the Broken Bell. It constantly reminds me of Anna, so does the Ladies, and any number of things. I figured that'd stop after a while. Maybe I need to get the hell out of Barovia.

I did meet a woman, named Olivia. Very pretty, red hair. I was feeling real lonely... I just wanted some contact. Ariana was nice enough to put in a good word. Things went well enough, she seemed interested in all my boring stories for some reason. We even danced, with no music. It reminded me of Anna again... but then we went upstairs, she took a bath and tried to get me to take glimpses at her body. I tried to be the perfect gentleman... eventually, she let me know she didn't want me to be. One thing led to another, and we were alone in the hall together, and...

She was a prostitute.

I suppose I shouldn't be suprised. No one who looks like that would really be that interested in me. But still... she was very nice, and she seemed to be on the level. I told her I didn't believe in it, I was torn... If she needed the money i'd give it to her, but I didn't want to be a John... She finally got the story of Anna out of me. I broke down. Next thing I know we were in a room and I was spilling my guts about her... anyway after that... I decided I just wanted to be with someone that night. It was 200 fang, but worth it I think. I felt like we had some kind of real connection there. I asked her about herself, we talked. She claimed she didn't share information about her clients, that was a way to make enemies. I could trust her.

Since then i've seen her come and go with a few men. It rankles me, but she doesn't need some clingy john wrecking her business. She says she really likes me, but she insists on charging. I suspect she's using me, or trying to. I hate that, I hate when people try to use me. Like all those smiling faces in the Casino, when they just want your bloody money. It makes me feel uncomfortable there, but the beers good so I keep going.

Anyway I don't trust Olivia anymore. It's nothing she's done, it's not fair to her, theres just something wrong with me. I'm sick inside. I can't see the good in people, just the slightly less evil. I really liked her...I think. I only knew her a day honestly, and I know I didn't fall in love with her like I did Anna. I just want to be around people, so much, but i'm almost afraid of them and it hurts to be near them. I hover at the edges of society, like a moth to a flame. I'm aching all over for something. A Man's supposed to be stronger then this. Maybe if I just had some kind of purpose in my life. Right now i'm miserable though. Olivia is off with some noble, probably in his bed, earning an exhorbitant fee. In some ways I wish it was me, but I don't want to be just a John. I want to hold someone in my arms and really feel at peace, really...love again.

So because of all this i've been restless lately. I've taken to wandering the streets at night, hoping for a monster to jump me so one of us can kill the other. How pathetic am I.

I need something in my life, badly.

Daciana Varzaru- "If fate is a principle beyond Human comprehension which capriciously torments man, then it is karma that man confront fate with sorcery."

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Re: The Diary of Dragomir Katzinkaly
« Reply #5 on: October 04, 2008, 02:20:43 AM »
Entry 6

Olivia... I can't figure this bloody woman out. I was almost certain she was using those around her by pretending to be nice and flirting with everyone... I came out of my funk after talking to a woman named Maria (she was pretty too...), then when I saw how many freinds Olivia had, I felt aweful again.

Popularity and Personal Value tend to be inversly related.

I'm not so sure now though. She says some things that make me think. Maybe she really does care. Maybe I should try to get some alone time with her and talk it over with her... she already knows i'm crazy, it couldn't hurt. Her freind Arin was teasing me, sitting in my lap. It did feel kind of good... but I had my reputation as a negative bastard to protect. Part of me wanted to put my arms around her though.

I hope I havn't made myself look like a jackass to Olivia. I just get so...depressed and angry sometimes. It's not her problem, I know... but she did listen last time.

Daciana Varzaru- "If fate is a principle beyond Human comprehension which capriciously torments man, then it is karma that man confront fate with sorcery."

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Re: The Diary of Dragomir Katzinkaly
« Reply #6 on: October 05, 2008, 01:03:26 AM »
Entry 7

I had that talk with Olivia. At first it was going well, I got everything off my chest, it seemed like I was just being crazy.... then I called it cheap sex and she stormed out on me. So I stormed out too. I came back later and demanded to know how she really felt about things (admittedly in a very angry and undiplomatic way), and it all came out. She doesn't really care, about people, nor does she WANT to feel anything like love... and no one ever makes her feel like that. It's just... all about fantasy and money for her- to make men desire her, and think about her, thats what she uses to replace real emotions. It's so infuriating and sad at the same time. We didn't part well. Maybe someday thinking about me will change her life, but I doubt it. Was it so wrong to want to try and love her? I mean, i wasn't IN love with her...but these things blossom slowly. In any case she'll probably hate me for the rest of her life, but I can only hope, somehow, someday, part of her understands I really just wanted to help her, and pull her out of what I thought was a dark place. But love comes rough sometimes.

She taunted Anna's memory. I didn't get angry at her for it though. I pitied her. She's confused real emotions with fake, shallow things and surrounded herself with sycophants who won't judge her. I never realized quite how special what I had with Anna was until now. I shouldn't have succumbed to Olivia's charms that first night. If I had been stronger, things might've gone differently now- I bought into her lie, and it took me this long to figure out she was fooling herself, and me. I can only take a small measure of pride in the fact I was the first to lift my head and say it was wrong. I don't know what that makes me... I don't expect to ever get credit for it, but something good I hope. I feel better just having stood up in what I believed in.

Oh, and we had this big arguement right in the middle of the Ladies Rest. So... yeah, that was bad.

Daciana Varzaru- "If fate is a principle beyond Human comprehension which capriciously torments man, then it is karma that man confront fate with sorcery."

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Re: The Diary of Dragomir Katzinkaly
« Reply #7 on: October 05, 2008, 09:59:10 PM »
Entry 8

The whole incident with Olivia made me realize I needed to help people, do some good with my life. It was what I wanted to do. Except... I never thought the first thing was going to be the last.

I've been watching Garda beat and harass people all day. It never bothered me till now. That woman, Saoire, screaming for someone to help the norseman while he was beat, her frantic cries... I can't explain what it did to me. They're going to be back to beat him tomarrow, and I can't let it happen again. When they come again i'm going to stop them. I'll probably be killed for this, by someone, sniffing at the Garda's heels, or bounty hunters later.

I'm sorry, Anna.

Daciana Varzaru- "If fate is a principle beyond Human comprehension which capriciously torments man, then it is karma that man confront fate with sorcery."

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Re: The Diary of Dragomir Katzinkaly
« Reply #8 on: October 05, 2008, 11:22:13 PM »
Entry 9

Nothing happened. The Garda never came back, no one got hurt. I talked it out with the Falkovnian sounding guy afterwards, he told me I did the right thing not acting that day. It would've brought further disaster. "The Hero's Frustration", he called it. I guess he's right. I feel like a heel for getting all worked up and then not doing anything. So stupid, so anticlimactic, like all my stories. I talk a big talk then nothing happens. I just wish I could make some kind of difference for someone.

Daciana Varzaru- "If fate is a principle beyond Human comprehension which capriciously torments man, then it is karma that man confront fate with sorcery."