A Sun That Never Sets

[Zwickelfaust]

 A sun that never sets burns on.
 New light is this river's dawn.

 When to speak of a word so old
 is to relearn what is known.
 A time to think back and move on.
 Rebuild the loves of lives long gone.

 The blood that flows through me is not my own.
 The blood is from the past, not my own.
 The blood that leads my life is not my own.
 The blood is strength, I'm not alone.



     Allek felt hurt and confused. Another of his family had perished. Kali was his friend and her death was devastating. He wondered why he outlived so many whom he believed to be more worthy of life than he. His mentor, Vicar Izabela Mikos was the woman who had guided him through his darkest times. She shaped the man he was and if not for her hope in him, Allek might have been dead long ago. He wished she was there to speak words of comfort to help him find the hope to continue. She was gone, along with Dumitru, Ilu, Kali. It was time for him to make them proud of him. It was time to pass those teachings from those mentors on. He knew that in doing so, their legacy would live on through the new generation of students of dawn. He thought back to Izabela and her unwavering trust in Allek's ability to overcome his flaws and become a great dawnbringer. She believed in him when she should have removed him from his position. This made Allek think of Kaine. No one believed in him, but Allek saw potential for greatness. Allek wanted to honor his old mentor by giving the young lightcarrier the same faith and trust that the vicar had given Allek. He wanted to honor all of those who influence his passion to help others, and right then, that was what Allek needed most.

     Allek needed now to feel busy. Once he had spoken to Michael about Mother Kali's death, he felt a bit better. He blamed himself for not being there to help her through and stay with them. There was too many inconsistencies in the story. It didn't seem like something Kali would do and there may be foul play involved.. After Michael brought this to Allek's attention, he realized that instead of feeling sorry for himself, he needed to find the truth. After all, Kali wouldn't have wanted him to regress into his old and darkened ways. She would have wanted him to be there to comfort those who also feel the loss. To be there to do what a dawnbringer does and spread hope to those in need. Allek believed that only through that way could he find peace with his immeasurable loss. Each loss was devastating, but each time, somehow Allek would pull through. He wondered if that was why he had survived all those years in the mist. He never truly lost hope, even when it seemed that it was hopeless.

    It was time to teach. It was time to show those that looked up to Allek that even in the darkest moments, being together and dealing with the problems as a family was the only way to keep that family strong. He felt the past within him, all those that touched his life. He felt the future ahead of him, all those that he would help shine new light into the dark. He would speak the word of power and strength. He would speak the word of "hope".

[Zwickelfaust]

 This is no soil to forgive,
 The blaze of a helios sky.
 Rage will blossom into iron;
 Blind as a worm in the earth.

 Our pain will rise,
 And breath a new dawn.
 When the illusion clears,
 All we are is blood.

 We gnaw and pull at the root;
 A starved beast with the mind of a fool.
 Skin stretched over bone cannot hide,
 The way we are bleeding inside.

 Beyond vision bears the drum.
 Blood makes no excuse.
 The one eyed all become kings,
 While shadows creep from dark holes.

 A taste of acidic bitter,
 Burns the voice out of the skull.
 Smoke from a gaping wound;
 Spirit already flown.

 Views eternal from a sunken eye
 Over a bride of spectral light
 Winds wither, rake, and weather
 Prophecy flows in whispers

 In a shadow world,
 We hide in light.

 The paths become clear, the road's true
 Oaths have been sworn.
 The temporal spiral away,
 Among the teeth of time.


    "What is this? Death? Life? Somewhere in the middle? Where is the dawn? Where is my father who promised eternal hope? I can't find it here. This, a place of corpses, gore and cold stone. Ancient whispers echo the halls and taunt my vision. Such vision... Is it illusion? I saw her in here... I swear I saw her. The one on the white robes. To look upon her is to reach and pluck memory from faded vestibules of time. A face though shrouded is unmistakably burnt into my mind. Why is she here? Has she too fallen victim to the tortuous paths of fate? The dark chokes my sight and clouds my soul. I will end this once and for all. I will undo all the damage done. I will not fail."

    "I can hear them in the distance. The creatures that guard this place. They don't attack me. They only stare through cold eyes. The world seems distant more and more with each exploratory step. There was a time I would revel in the chance to shine my light here, but not this time. I only hear whispers of doom and death. I still have hope. I'll still make it out of here. He comes to guide me. I hear nothing but venom and lies spew from his mouth. I don't believe him. Do I? I am not sure anymore. The shadows here flicker in the light. I can smell death in the air. Is it my own or others? He seems so polite, so welcoming to his enemy, to me. He explains everything to me. All becomes clear. What was real? What was the true meaning? I stare at the bloodied corpses by the alter. I want to save everyone. I want to find peace. I want to see my family live without fear."

    "I feel her behind me. I feel the prick of her deceit. I feel the darkness flood into my soul. I feel..... I feel less. I see more. I see truth. I see reconciliation. I see the end of fear and a new dawn of hope for all. I see darkness now. I feel cold.... so cold. Is this the floor? I feel strange now. I feel odd. I feel no pain. I feel hope.

    "I am awake. I feel distant. I feel incomplete. All is clear now. Through the darkness I see light. I can see them for who they are. Those that hide in darkness, those that hide in light. They are one in the same. I am both. I am neither. I am beyond such notions now. I have been shown the truth. I have to end this all before it's too late. I will stop the pain."

[Zwickelfaust]

////duplicate

[Zwickelfaust]

 Blazing eye sees all
 Nature of firey triumph
 Patterns unfold
 Whispers revealing
 Path of spiral reaps
 Fetal buried gold
 Humbled in the womb
 A centre opens
 To the unknown

 Can you feel your fate
 Can you see you're
 Biding time hide
 From your life

 Drowning in the birth
 Place of the sun
 Descending the path
 Of an ascending god
 Purify my hells to
 Climb the heavens
 Sacrifice the flesh
 Feeding solar visions

 Set your mind to soil
 Set your mind to soil
 In darkness
 Bringing light

 A knowing old
 A knowing wise

 Flames to blades
 On earth, stabbing
 Scorching sacred lust
 Fall back to stone
 Fall back on spear



   
  "My mother whispers in my mind. I can hear her speaking words of murder and violence into my mind. My body, so strong in its infancy can barely contain the urge to feed. I can feel the hunger with each passing moment. Animals, like leaves cannot satisfy. Nothing like the exuberant joy of a person. I must resist. This is not me. This is the monster inside from so long ago come to finish me off. To wash away the sins of a dead world. The truth is that I do not know what is next."

   "Unknown to me is the whispers of my mother. What is my fate? What is my path? My path is death. My path is murder..."

   "I am consumed by my thirst. My enemy, my friend, my family. I yearn to taste their life. I fight to resist the need to end them. This is not me. This is not my place. I am meant to serve the radiance of the Dawnfather, not this old one. Will I be forgiven for my sins? I cry out for something, some one. I cry out to claw and rake at the land. I cry out for something familiar. I have sacrificed everything. All of what I was, what I could be. Forgive my sin. Forgive my torment. Forgive me Great Mother. Forgive me Great Father. I now walk among the old ones. I walk among the darkness. Save me! I can see the sun each morning. I can see it in my mind, casting light upon my wicked soul."

   "That sun casts shadow. A shadow I cannot escape from. I must save them. I must bring peace, even if I can never escape my darkness. I must shine my light. Even if it is a dim remnant of its former self."

    "The old one calls to me. Louder than the Great Father, Louder than the Great Mother. Louder than MY mother. I can here it in the darkness, feeding me hate. Feeding me violence."

     "All the pawns fall into place. Each plays their roll, unknowing of the master plan. Each believe themselves to know, but they know only what the deception allows. What is the truth? It is something that in the end doesn't matter. Those that I have fought and died for now seek my end. They spit at me curses and violence. They do not know that each time they do, they kill a part of me. They kill a part of themselves. They will know in the end. They will see the burning light that shines through the darkness. Through sword and spear they will rise in the light of dawn with victory on their lips. They will cleanse the darkness I bring. I will show them what hope I bring. I will give them a new life. I will give them a means for peace. I come to reconcile the failures of the past."

[Zwickelfaust]

////previous entry removed until end of plot. New one coming soon.

Illumination bleeds fire
Karmic well of deceit
Blood will nourish
Your sense breeds disgust
Sickened flow
Cauterize my waste
Devoid spirit gone
Our universe will breed
Aeon - ravens descend
Freeze - your destiny
Breathes discord
Fall, obsidian tides
Will be nature's bane

     "What am I? Am a traitor? Am I a dawnbringer? Do I fall into the void of darkness that swells within my soul? Those that I love want to see my end. Not of pity, but of hatred. IS this what I am to be? A martyr? A heretic? Am I both? I still love those who seek my end. There is no other way. They must hate me so that mother does not notice. The pain that brings me is indescribable. All I want is to fell human again. All I want is to feel like someone cares. It's clear that no one trusts me. Rightly so, I am a monster. One who feeds off the misery of others. I betray my friends, my family. Even my new family. I am undeserving of mercy, but those I love are. I only wish they could see. I wish I could call to them and tell them that everything I do is for them. Everything I do is for them to live in peace when I am gone.... when my new family is gone and our home is burnt to the ground. There will be heavy losses. I can feel it, but for future generations there must be war. For those who came before, for those who will come after. This evil will be stopped. I will be stopped. All the damage I have done will be undone. All the suffering I have given will be returned to the source.

    I must say, I am afraid. I'm afraid of what is to come. Everything is uncertain and everyone and everything is my enemy. I truly am alone. Those that live taunt me, telling me I am nothing but a shell, nothing but a monster. No matter what I do or say, they remain convinced. I want to reach out, feel a memorable embrace, see a warm smile. They tell me I need to be destroyed and put to rest. I wish I could allow that to happen. I wish I could show them that they are wrong, and I am still here in this cursed body. I am not evil. I am not good. I am grey. I am the Reconciler. I suffer to make things right. I only wish someone would understand my suffering. I wish that I could laugh and smile. Joke and feel joy. I get nothing but anger and hatred, mistrust and violence. Is this what I have become?

   It's getting hard to remember life. It was so simple. Smile at people, do good. Train laity. I was a fool to think that was stressful. I had no idea what stress was. For now the plan moves forward. For now everyone will continue to hate me. The world will know who I am. The world will cry out for my destruction. It is my destiny."

[Zwickelfaust]

////// Coming soon.

On this earth - lay me down
 Soil my blood - this shell will fade
 Gods with eyes - I'm ready now
 At the hanging tree - giver of life
 Great mother heal - I will rise

 (I believe in you - we all keep the flame
 We are all pure flame inside)

 Down spiraling outward
 Revive to survive
 Prey to the mystics
 Prey on

 Dust falls through my hands
 Dreams shatter away
 Burning glow turns to ash
 Thrown to wind

 The weave in my dreams
 My strength of fates
 The tunneling helix
 Tongue a flame

 A healing delusion
 Beyond true will
 A searing blue gaze
 Breath my fire

 What hath god wrought
 Divine misthought
 No senses, cold and sedate
 A self-imposed
 Fear-driven state
 Too hurt to see
 Unhidden truth
 Increasing void
 Worsened fate

[Zwickelfaust]

///// next entry coming soon, added the beginning of the above entry. Keep your eyes peeled.