Author Topic: The Swordsman's Tale:  (Read 15463 times)

Silas Rotleaf

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Re: The Swordsman's Tale:
« Reply #125 on: December 31, 2017, 01:33:30 AM »
Yes Kaine, everything you do and any word you utter is bad and wrong at all times!
You cannot *possibly* do anything right! To ever conclude otherwise would be sheer lunacy.
This is the thing people would often express to me in no uncertain terms seemingly although among the more polite folk we would associate with it would tend to be danced around more than directly stated.

Am I mad for this? Are other people mad for denying it?
I'm not a philosopher.

Why do I choose to cling to hope in spite of things oftentimes by all accounts on the surface appearing quite hopeless? Well, perhaps it is a stubborn defiance of the circumstances which we are subjected to. The "powers" that be seem rather cruel and not entirely necessarily even deserving of respect. Fear and respect are two very different things except when you are an idiot peasant or a despotic tyrant!

Just keep a low profile Kaine. Try not to arouse more suspicion. Wait out the term of your banishment like a good little subject although it's clear from the way we are treated authorities do not think we are the type of good which they would prefer!

People like me we are not downtrodden enough. Our refusal to be utterly and completely broken bothers those who would assume our complete subjugation. Perhaps these authorities know that though I obey their laws outwardly I spit in the eye of anyone who would assume to be in complete control of me. That is a dangerous thought for an outlander to have. My my... If it ever spread to the locals they might... Oh I don't know, the Garda could demand better wages, firstly.

I'm not an anarchist but on the surface such lines of reasoning make authority figures think things like "He will propose a tax revolt and that causes a pickle for me."

Nono, if anything I am a proponent of a civil society where people try to conduct regular commerce.

Had the Morninglord decided it was not just to save young Martyn Pelkar from the coven of vampires standing him down back in I think it was either 425 or 475 BC, there would be no foundation for the cult of the Morninglord. Certainly there are some who would argue jeopardizing his own safety to save a young boy whom he did not even know was unwise. I don't know it for certain but I think probably our Morninglord knew the risks and still felt like fighting "the good fight" against those foul undead anyway regardless.
« Last Edit: December 31, 2017, 01:49:07 AM by Kaine »

Silas Rotleaf

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Re: The Swordsman's Tale:
« Reply #126 on: December 31, 2017, 02:07:22 AM »
The elf says she loves me. I would like to be her husband.
Sometimes "traditions" can be oppressive and not for our best or own safety.

With no risk there is never any reward.
Most promises of reward at no risk tend to be lies.
Pleasant, comforting lies to those who cannot stomach dealing with any degree of peril in the slightest. Which can and do often get them killed with a false sense of security.

I've learned that traditions themselves we all take for granted and at times quite stupidly rely on everyone else also following to carry out our day to day lives never could have started without at least a founder at the beginning defying earlier practices he or she had disagreed with.

Example two: Ezra. While she was a mortal human she could have chosen though she saw what was wrong and changeable about the environment around her continuing cause suffering for her companions to have done nothing and she never would have gone on to be the figure of such an enduring core wide religion.
« Last Edit: December 31, 2017, 02:13:46 AM by Kaine »

Silas Rotleaf

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Re: The Swordsman's Tale:
« Reply #127 on: December 31, 2017, 02:20:26 AM »
I feel that despair is an enemy of hope.

Not giving into it is certainly at times very challenging.

Light carrier, you must continue to try and have a positive impact on other people's lives.
« Last Edit: December 31, 2017, 02:22:36 AM by Kaine »

Silas Rotleaf

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Re: The Swordsman's Tale:
« Reply #128 on: December 31, 2017, 04:22:06 PM »
I feel a darkness welling inside me.

That I kept being punished again and again while actual murderers are allowed free reign is infuriating.
There were a few times I have found myself entertaining flights of fantasy which involve feeding Private Savu one of his dogs, and worst of all imprisoning and fining Yordan somehow for all manner of trivial offenses as he and Savu have done to me in the past.

Fantasies of aggression are not a good thing but I shall dismiss these feelings as best I can.  There is not much to be done about my mistreatment at the hands of the garda.
I love my bride. No doubts trying to enact any sort of revenge would have intense repercussions for her and I know she has already had a pretty rough life.   We do not *need* more misfortune at this point in time to be invited upon us.

The air itself has an almost palpable malice to it.
At any moment some horrible human fiend may take it upon him or herself to make your life and those of others around you take a turn for the worse, for their own twisted amusement!
Those you care about by extension become also at risk in such an environment.

Monsters on the other hand are more honest.  They eat or kill you because that is what they do.
A person by contrast will convince themselves that all manner of atrocities against their fellow man are excusable and alright due to some misguided sense of morality.
Is it absolute inflexibles values which cause this or the perspective being so formless and shapeless that it becomes too murky to distinguish between right and wrong?
« Last Edit: December 31, 2017, 04:34:49 PM by Kaine »

Silas Rotleaf

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Re: The Swordsman's Tale:
« Reply #129 on: December 31, 2017, 04:41:33 PM »
Isolation has been setting in, I think.
I can't... I try to interact with people albeit minimally under this false persona. It is very trying though.
I think I will just work on some crafts.

Pretending to be not so fluent in common by stilting my speech and arbitrarily pausing as though searching for words when conversing does fool some people.
I'm lucky I took so readily to learning elven.  It's amazing what the right motivations can do to spur someone through tricky and complicated things; While I would not say that I'm properly fluent in all of its dialects I do have a gift for certain languages.

I like the elves. I think even if it weren't for my beloved being among their number I'd still feel a certain affinity towards them.
I tend to get along better with elves and dwarves than my fellow humans.
« Last Edit: December 31, 2017, 04:44:56 PM by Kaine »

Silas Rotleaf

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Re: The Swordsman's Tale:
« Reply #130 on: December 31, 2017, 11:44:40 PM »
Both my old commander and Qyral understood my need to lay low.
Barovians I think I have come to realize only pretend to be very fearful at all times. A good sized chunk of them are actually quite malevolent.
« Last Edit: January 01, 2018, 08:00:04 AM by Kaine »

Silas Rotleaf

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Re: The Swordsman's Tale:
« Reply #131 on: January 01, 2018, 08:05:29 AM »
Miserably wandered the beaches of Baie de Sable today in Dementlieu.
Somehow I'm not entirely sure exactly myself how it happened but I wound up in the private section. The sign said no trespassing but I felt compelled to explore. I was lost wandering for I don't know how long in D'honaire's hedge maze. When I got through to the other side I saw his quasi palacial estate, Maison de la Vue. It's a magnificent manor and his butler assumed that I in my disguise had to be one of the master of the house's many noble guests just in a masquerade because nobles and exotic people all tend to seem incredibly bored in this country.  I don't know what kind of man this member of the Council of Brilliance is but his lethargic relative in one of the dens could barely keep his eyes open. Likely he had a bit too much fun the night before, was intensely hungover or in an opiated stupor.

My compliments to the architects and gardeners. D'honaire seems a very intelligent clever man. In the study I saw a hidden door but it required a specific key to open. I wonder if he keeps cigars in there. I took nothing as I am not a thief.

Many of the doors to the mansion were left unlocked. I couldn't escape the feeling the master of the house expected a constant stream of visitors most hours of the day and might be secretly observing all of us. Hours later I staggered my way back out and down the beach.
« Last Edit: January 01, 2018, 08:20:31 AM by Kaine »

Silas Rotleaf

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Re: The Swordsman's Tale:
« Reply #132 on: January 01, 2018, 12:09:50 PM »
I feel a bit less unbalanced now.
Still off though.

The best revenge is to live well.
« Last Edit: January 01, 2018, 12:26:11 PM by Kaine »

Silas Rotleaf

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Re: The Swordsman's Tale:
« Reply #133 on: January 01, 2018, 02:35:00 PM »
Discipline.
I am not an evil person dammit.
People... some people want me to be.
I know I'm not the best person but I'm not the worst either.

Commander told me, she said: Kaine, you do have the potential to be a leader.
People will look up to how a person with no extraordinary special powers rose up through hard training and gaining experience.  It's probably what makes the mages and clerics get upset.
I mean she's a paladin and I didn't always believe her before when she pressured me to grab more responsibility by the horns. I thought I couldn't because I'm not a hero. I'm not a knight and I don't have arcane or divine gifts. I have often been told by people it is bad to engage in conflict and that I should not be a warrior when that is what I am.  I shouldn't have to apologize for knowing bladecraft rather than spell craft.

The few times I tried to not fight at all I got beaten within an inch of my life and by third party accounts corroborating such many, many times to death. It's worse than not having the right weapons or decent tactics.  The trick is to fight smarter.
« Last Edit: January 03, 2018, 11:52:39 PM by Kaine »

Silas Rotleaf

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Re: The Swordsman's Tale:
« Reply #134 on: January 03, 2018, 11:47:41 PM »
I am sick and tired of being treated as a criminal while actual murderers get given free reign.
Also, I feel as though in training by myself I may have recently reached a plateau. It feels worse because I'm weaker than I was prior to my last fight with the Harbinger, so I do have a taste of what having more power feels like there in the back of my mind as an annoying reminder.

I love my bride. She and I can adventure together and like treasure hunting.
I am mentally done with getting arrested and tortured, beaten and threatened over little tiny insignificant things which do not really matter simply in the line of carrying out my temple duties and am rather annoyed with having always been under such unreal levels of scrutiny.  Yes yes, threaten to execute me but that will not stop people who are determined to from making up and spreading rumors about me. Torture and banishment don't stop this stuff from happening to me it just makes it less an issue for the garda to have to deal with.  Yordan *could* have listened to me or Tinu when we said there was a serial killer after us. He really seems to care more about the letter than the spirit of the law.

It serves me right for every single little tiny time I got in and out of trouble. Apparently sentences being overturned on technicalities is something some of the garda are not very comfortable with. They probably feel it isn't being tough enough on crime but also, it's easier to go after adventuring outlanders than hardened killers and other more dangerous sorts of criminals.

Am I mad at him? I can't be truly angry at somebody for simply being who and what they are.
Finances dwindle. Replacement equipment was not cheap. Supply provisions remain steady.
« Last Edit: January 03, 2018, 11:58:08 PM by Kaine »

Silas Rotleaf

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Re: The Swordsman's Tale:
« Reply #135 on: January 04, 2018, 02:06:17 PM »
Ran into Private Savu near the fishing lodge this night and we fought some werewolves together.
Though it was good to have some human contact, he asked me how I got to the western part of Barovia when I had been exiled at the Eastern border. I sure hope that I took the ferry from Midway Haven to the Fishing lodge across what I will assume was northern Lake Zarovich doesn't count as violating the terms of my temporary banishment. A term which technically would I think have been over at the time we encountered each other. Again he was off duty.
Again I worry. Usually whenever the private is involved I will wind up arrested, detained, punished and beaten.

Being forever banished from Vallaki on a mere technicality like that would really make it quite difficult to be with my bride in Degannwy not to mention downright impossible to do my job at the Vallaki outskirts temple.

Silas Rotleaf

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Re: The Swordsman's Tale:
« Reply #136 on: January 05, 2018, 05:09:25 PM »
Hmm, he didn't say to me that I would immediately be forever banished. He said there were just a few days left to my banishment and to not screw it up. I'm worried though.
« Last Edit: January 05, 2018, 05:18:48 PM by Kaine »

Silas Rotleaf

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Re: The Swordsman's Tale:
« Reply #137 on: January 05, 2018, 05:17:18 PM »
Lady Selyth recently told me I had long ago been banished from her lair but that she was pleased with my gift and forgave me I guess?
I want to invite her to my wedding. I wonder if she would come as a guest.

Silas Rotleaf

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Re: The Swordsman's Tale:
« Reply #138 on: January 10, 2018, 09:20:38 PM »
A mysterious man sent me on a journey across the core to some of its most remote locations all for a single stupid raven feather.
Tinu and I are puzzling out if this was just meant as a mean and obscure joke or if it held some deeper meaning.

I was approached and corrupted in the mind a bit by Urzica the Deceiver, turns out.
Fought and survived an encounter with Claude Maluet the Storytelling vampire.

Got demoted from light carrier to layman.
Am asked by Tinu and Sir Michael why I have not quit the church.
I am/was consistently treated pretty badly.
Savu has received a promotion to lance corporal.
I know no one takes me seriously. Which sometimes they will go so far as to insist since I am the person suggesting something that it has to and must on that basis be bad and wrong or a stupid idea. Rather annoying and childish, that.

At least my bride loves me and I'm still helping people though they don't seem as ready to return the favor when fortunes turn and I'm the one in need of help... That's not nearly so often as the amount they are willing to receive help from me.

Hellena has given me some ideas to financially get back on my feet as I was quite recently robbed. Still need to pull together funds for the wedding.
« Last Edit: January 10, 2018, 09:27:35 PM by Kaine »

Silas Rotleaf

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Re: The Swordsman's Tale:
« Reply #139 on: January 10, 2018, 09:28:21 PM »
Am I a glutton for punishment?
Observations would indicate yes.

Silas Rotleaf

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Re: The Swordsman's Tale:
« Reply #140 on: January 10, 2018, 09:31:57 PM »
If presented the opportunity to leave the lands of mists I don't think that I would.
Eberron, more specifically my life in Brelend didn't offer me very much. There's nothing for me there. Nothing special to make me miss it.
Here I get to make more of my own choices rather than having them all mostly decided for me by superior officers. I get to form relationships. I'm getting married!
I never would meet people just obeying my orders as a royal guard. Barely got to explore places. Mostly we'd just march around and listen to lectures in the military academy.

Silas Rotleaf

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Re: The Swordsman's Tale:
« Reply #141 on: January 14, 2018, 03:32:10 AM »
I feel strangely.
Having been stripped of rank in the church and told I am not to train as a light carrier anymore and made to give back my orange robe felt off. I do feel a relief from that overwhelming burden the Dawnbringers and other light carriers kept putting me under though.

For the first time like my every word and action isn't being picked apart to be used against me. Although when I am in Vallaki tends to always feel like that.

The Bishop said I do belong in the faith and have a home in the church.
That means Urzica was wrong, although I think she may have obtusely hit the nail on the head when she fed me the notion my superiors did not respect me any. That can't be true though. Sir Michael, Sister Anya and Father Allek still teach me.
It's Brother Barris I have the hard time getting along with.

Silas Rotleaf

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Re: The Swordsman's Tale:
« Reply #142 on: January 14, 2018, 03:34:19 AM »
The idea of being a layman forever with no opportunity for advancing after having had light carrier dangled in front of me should be intensely frustrating yet I find myself too mentally and emotionally fatigued to care.

The church politics are no longer my problem to worry about.
My supposed terrible comportment at all times is no longer something for my brothers and sisters of the cloth and spear to have to trouble themselves with.

No more reports to fill out. I'll kind of miss that part though.
Well, they've succeeded in shutting me up. Too tired to laugh or weep.
« Last Edit: January 14, 2018, 03:39:20 AM by Kaine »

Silas Rotleaf

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Re: The Swordsman's Tale:
« Reply #143 on: January 14, 2018, 03:41:23 AM »
The bishop did say he expects me to keep fighting undead with the priests and light carriers though.
Difficult to find hope.

Silas Rotleaf

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Re: The Swordsman's Tale:
« Reply #144 on: January 14, 2018, 03:38:41 PM »
I feel oddly cut off from everyone more so than ever before which is odd because I've grown closer to Sister Anya and Sir Michael. I'll help them and Father Allek with anything. Everybody else though... They can all suck lemons. Except Sister Simona and Brother Lee. Those kids are alright.

Silas Rotleaf

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Re: The Swordsman's Tale:
« Reply #145 on: January 15, 2018, 07:46:30 PM »
I told the Harbinger of my plans to retire from "the heroing business."
A horrible serial killing rapist of a vampire is mad at me for foiling a few of his abduction attempts and told me he wants to target Tinu to get even with me. Ugh.


Like I told Harby... I never even considered myself a hero. There's just too many bad guys who are way stronger than me.

Horatiu finally talked to me. I was hoping it would be something inspirational but it was just to issue me my mop and bucket.
I'm the temple janitor now. There is no hope of ever advancing past layman. This stinks.

I know I somewhat voluntarily stepped down on the basis of I was tired of being perpetually told my best was never good enough and minutely cross examined with suspicions of my having sinister intent always on the table. That was very irksome and was mentally and emotionally wearing me down.

I couldn't shake my negative reputation so it's for the best I be not a light carrier. *Sigh*
« Last Edit: January 15, 2018, 08:17:34 PM by Kaine »

Silas Rotleaf

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Re: The Swordsman's Tale:
« Reply #146 on: January 15, 2018, 08:15:14 PM »
Lee and Simona still call me their brother.
When I was a light carrier I tried to always do the right thing.
Even though most of the time people would get mad and twist it into being the wrong thing because it was me.
That I *could* be that guy, that actually didn't bring shame to the church.
I could still be that person just you know, not as a part of the church formally.
Was Horatiu a paladin? The old temple in Barovia village had old mercenary housing dormitories built into the building as part of it. I know the priests weren't always against employing and relying on mundane fighters for help. I wonder what changed.

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Re: The Swordsman's Tale:
« Reply #147 on: January 15, 2018, 08:20:39 PM »
Without proper training to deal with elder vampires I have withstood the assaults of Claude Maluet the storyteller and foiled a few of his abduction attempts. He is not a lich but a lech.

Have mixed holy water and some garlic in with my cleaning supplies.
I sharpened the back end of my janitorial mop to fashion a wooden stake too but have no idea how you are meant to stake a vampire. Sir Michael during my probably last lesson when the bishop had dismissed me told me you go for the heart when they are already down and that this paralyzes them but does not kill them. Barring positive energy disintegration the only way you can destroy a vampire is to remove its head from its body. So they aren't truly immortal afterall!
« Last Edit: January 15, 2018, 08:22:15 PM by Kaine »

Silas Rotleaf

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Re: The Swordsman's Tale:
« Reply #148 on: January 15, 2018, 08:24:59 PM »
You will never be worthy Kaine.
You were born of merchants instead of nobles. You are not a knight nor a paladin. You aren't a cleric.
People from other realms look down on mercenaries because they didn't all have mercenary noble houses the way Khorvaire does.

Gods I love my bride. That the Storyteller wanted to take her from me shook me deeply.
I can't just retire from adventuring and be a simple janitor. There will always be some evil arsehole trying to harass me and Tinu or if not us, then our friends and other people around us.
What to do though?
I could use a sign, anything.

Any sort of a sign from somebody powerful or a god maybe would do.
I need some guidance. There is no one to provide such guidance.
I am worried the priests of the church will be nigh useless in this regard. As will my mercenary contacts, so what to do?

I'll have to decide for myself. I'm used to not relying on gods for much.  It isn't like I'm a priest or holy fighter who depends on maintaining a relationship with their patron deity to empower me.

I use my own muscles and wits.
« Last Edit: January 15, 2018, 08:29:15 PM by Kaine »

Silas Rotleaf

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Re: The Swordsman's Tale:
« Reply #149 on: January 15, 2018, 08:38:43 PM »
Am I bitter? Yes.
I left a  letter in the Sanctuary of the Eternal Dawn for Father Ilie our bishop briefly summing up my worries about The Storyteller having expressely told me he will target my bride.
I haven't lain with her yet so it feels like if he had her way with her even if he did not turn her in a way ever after, on her honeymoon being denied getting to consummate your union because a foul creature violated your wife first?
Also what if he did turn her?
A Morninglordian, even a "fallen" light carrier who is a shitty one cannot have a vampire for a wife.
Such a wanton creature as Claude does not deserve to call itself male.
We formed a small posse, a knight, brother Lee, a rogue and I to take things down to the tergs and try to defend our womenfolk that no one else might get raped by that monster.
That was why when victims were recovered they would rock themselves back and forth and not want to speak to anyone!

Unfortunately the vampire sorceress and her empowered bone golems proved a little too much for us. I am told Beatrice and the last of the Stolojans heroically recovered our bodies and belongings and that Beatrice had a showdown with Claude! I hope he felt in full the humiliation of a woman soundly besting him because he really got off on treating the fairer sex as objects to be used.

He's been doing that for centuries apparently. It's about time somebody said no to him and reminded the spoiled brat you can't always just take what you want from everyone all the time.
« Last Edit: January 15, 2018, 08:40:43 PM by Kaine »