Author Topic: Chapter 3: The Wayward Philosopher  (Read 3935 times)

Norture

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Chapter 3: The Wayward Philosopher
« on: August 14, 2013, 01:20:49 AM »
Chapter 1: Pages added to the back of a wizard's spellbook

Chapter 2: A Serpent's Story





The meeting went about as well as I could have hoped for. I wasn't exploded with spells on the spot. Although, he was very nervous to see me. I think he expected me to be there for revenge, after all why would I come back? Once he sees the books I gave him, it should make sense. I told him, my research is taking me down a dangerous road, my knowledge needs a good home, with people who actually appreciate it. I told him I would be in the Vallaki area conducting further research, that it is all I truly want to do. I don't believe I will be assassinated, especially considering my current research is on the Dark Powers themselves. What a dangerous field of study! I will either die or be sent home in the process, and the resulting knowledge will be in their hands, without them having to risk themselves.

Although it lingers in the back of my mind what the Dark Powers told me of the world. They laughed at me, how little I knew. That all of this is an illusion, a thing of their creation. If I were to take this as fact at complete face value,

      The implications are astounding. Those who would seek to control the Dark Powers could possibly be created by the Dark Powers

  But when I truly stop and think about it, it does all fall into place. The focus on illusions.
    Are these illusions that have become self-aware, and wish for free will? To break free from their creators?


I never know when I have stumbled upon an important realization or simply a coincidence when it comes to the makings of the world. It is not something intended for mortals to comprehend.



And then there's the snake's studies. I had to make sure they made their way to their intended audience, it only seemed right. I feel like I owe that much to the memory of him. Over a year ago, I recall there being interest in my end of the research. Which was pursued by the snake, despite a severe handicap. The snake had even greater ambitions with enchantment that I don't believe I could bring myself to study anymore, not after what I learned about the Dark Powers. I don't want to lose myself in their game, not again. If I can, I will work against the game and see if I can undermine it enough to get sent home.

It's strange being in Vallaki again. The familiarity is almost comforting, although I'm sure the feeling will be fleeting.

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Re: Chapter 3: The Wayward Philosopher
« Reply #1 on: August 15, 2013, 11:21:32 PM »
That bird. That bird, that bird, that bird. I'd recognize it anywhere.

Maybe I was wrong, maybe they simply don't hire assassins. Maybe they just figure I'll walk to my own death. Which I will, because I see it as futile to hide.
Will I wake up tomorrow as a snake again?
Is it my own sin of pride that I think there's value in what I know and have studied? I wouldn't say so. I am holding to my belief that there is value in knowledge. I knew this was a potential outcome. I suppose deep down, I didn't want to believe it would happen. That I'd be left to research. The Dark Powers did state how if they wished me to not exist, I wouldn't. Were they simply waiting for me to lead myself to my own death?

Or maybe I'm just startled. That bird terrifies me.
Perhaps they just want to talk about my research.


He is here. That is his bird.

Why am I more afraid than I was the last time stood in the misted land?

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Re: Chapter 3: The Wayward Philosopher
« Reply #2 on: August 29, 2013, 12:12:35 PM »
Serafim is a vampire. The last woman I allowed myself to love. The woman that wasn't there for me when I needed her most, and left me broken and beaten in the gutter. And worst of all, she looks like the woman I loved back home. She is a Core native, I'm sure it's just part of the game the mists play with me. 

All of those people who judged me, insulted me for being weak, who left me in the worst pain I had ever been in. As macabre as it is, I find I get along with them much better after they've died. Serafim described how she, too, was now abandoned by everyone she knew. How she begged to not be turned. But also her greed, how she wished all of her old friends would join her, so they'd be with her. Well, darling, now you know what it's like to lose everything. After I lost it all, I wanted the power to inflict nightmares on everyone who insulted me, so they too could understand what it was like, so they too would suffer. In the end, that is when we know we are all alone, when we have no one to suffer with us and so we must wish our suffering onto others.

For years, people insulted me for my inaction. That I wasn't prepared to just strike against a lord of a nation or some beast of the night. Even Absalom, who suggested work against slavery in Hazlan. Absalom had a reputation for uncovering child fighting rings in Dementlieu, but when it came down to it, he violated some of the most sacred aspects of the Code. I have no idea how many people he put at risk out of his own greed. He chased his greed, he wanted fame and fortune and political power. That's not to say I haven't brutally butchered the Code myself, especially during those long dark months after the nightmares came for me and the Vardo betrayed me. I wanted to believe I was irredeemable, I wanted to see just how wrong the world could make me. In reflection, that's when I began to befriend monsters. That's when I became a monster myself. But, just over a year ago, I learned that there is no such thing as irredeemable. All it takes is a reason to remember the old ways, and for me it was the possibility that home was at risk. I couldn't stand by and watch something threaten home, no matter how much I loathed this world. But in retrospect, I really didn't accomplish anything at all. I almost threw my life away like Nara'ia did. Was her sacrifice worth it?

 I wouldn't change what happened, though. My snake-self reflected an entirely different personality within me, and the Dark Powers courted the snake disturbingly frequently. I recall quite clearly all of the times temptation would lurk, waiting to grab me. But, I refused, simply because what I truly wanted was never being offered. The snake-self was very coldly logical. And through all of it, that's all I really needed. My snake-self had seemingly impossible goals that he worked towards. After I was put into a human body again, there were no more paths left to walk. Clearly the only thing left to do was target the Dark Powers themselves and try to get sent home. Through this, Valkan became a victim to them, and I got to observe some of their workings more closely. All of the people I knew who insulted me for my inaction died or are lost chasing the darkness themselves, going from monster to monster like it means something. I was never satisfied with such simple actions, there was always something deeper involved, I didn't want to strike until I knew what I was striking against. And through everything, I now see it clearly. I see the game played with everyone, I see the patterns. People struggling with their own compassion to try and fix the world become slaves to it, lashing out at the first thing they can. Anastacia asked me with my research to find out how to prevent evils from rising. She is entirely misguided, we must prevent ourselves from attacking these evils. Our very existence is what makes these evils in the first place. The old code simply does not work in this world, as our very nature becomes our shackles. And through the darkness and gazing at the illusion of reality itself came the new code,

The illusions appear to be safe, they never are. The reality is quite horrible, learn to recognize it.

Friends and loved ones are dangerous. They will be used against us in this cruel game. We must learn to stand strong, alone, to minimize the harm caused to ourselves and others.

Our own emotions will be used against us. They are a core thing to us that the Dark Powers push us to chase. Hope, joy, hate, greed, sadness, all tools.

Violence is never the answer. Recklessly killing is never the answer. These too are tools that will be used against us.

In the end, we will walk alone and make our choices alone, no matter who stands beside us. At home, the goal was to allow everyone personal freedom. This world is a dark mirror to the goal. Respect peoples' choices, for nothing we do shall change them. Realizations are something someone has to come to themselves. Many people cannot be saved, for they've become blinded to the darkness they chase.


This is all in stark contrast to the old code, but it is the only way to truly work in this world without bringing harm to everyone around us. The Wayfarers hurl themselves at every monster they can, but to what ends? The only light in this world comes from within. We are lone candles in the dark, and very very few will ever understand what this truly means.

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Re: Chapter 3: The Wayward Philosopher
« Reply #3 on: August 29, 2013, 12:40:04 PM »
I'm quite surprised to see the Vardo being kicked out of the Drain is having such a negative impact. There's enough crooks out there that their services could be filled quite rapidly, I'd assume. Not to mention all of the times the Vardo spat at the Drain or used it. It seemed like the only people who ever actually cared about what went on down there was me, Dimitri, and Vlodoi. And last I heard, Vlodoi was working with Jarrskin to take over both the Drain and the Vardo, possibly with some Boritsi or Romulich ties. I wonder what came of that. As much as people like whispering about the Boritsi, I'd put my bets on the Romulich being involved. They've been quiet for a long time, they're probably scheming something up. A lot of money flows through Vallaki, and it's the Vardo that's tapping it.

Then there's those freshly-misted wizards I've been testing. There's a reason why the term freshly-misted is used to describe people, and why I won't go out on a limb for people who haven't survived here for a while. Amadeus is interesting, but seems to have no capacity to adapt. Black is too reckless, and doesn't listen. He will most likely have to learn for himself the hard way several times until he's useful. If he survives. He reminds me of Valkan in that sense, Valkan learned the hard way and burnt many, many bridges in his path. And I've got that scar on my arm to always remind me about people like Valkan.

The other two wizards might be useful.
One is quite cunning, but is too busy trying to survive to really push himself. It's a shame. If things get bad, I'll do for him what I did for Ferret long ago. If he really proves himself, there are options available that could "cure" his condition.
The other is very promising. I have a few concerns left that I need to address, but he is already a mature research-oriented wizard. He seems like he would be able to handle the dark truths of the world. I would enjoy studying with him more.

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Re: Chapter 3: The Wayward Philosopher
« Reply #4 on: August 29, 2013, 07:08:54 PM »
That's it. I'm out until the dust settles. The Drain is getting far too dangerous. I'd much rather have the Vardo around than the people Skinny wants to bring in, and as far as I know, the Vardo's still dangerous to me. That whole run brought back a whole lot of bad memories, and I'm not going to tie myself down to a bunch of criminals again. I hope Skinny noticed how they treated him, he can expect a whole lot more of that if he keeps chasing them. My focus is research, I'm not going to lose sight of that. It's just too messy to get tangled up in, I'm not certain if any of them really know much about these groups in the first place. It was a nasty surprise seeing him there. I'm not touching any of this. I don't think any of them know just how dangerous it was to have witnessed that, in Barovia. I doubt any of them could identify who that was.

It's times like now when I realize I probably know more about the Vallaki underworld than most of the active faces I see. And I don't even know a whole lot, not at all. When they ask for information from me, it's always about some new face. Some upstart who won't be around in six months. They never ask me, who are the big names. Who are the established folk. There's a lot of worse people out there than the Vardo, it'll take a few Borcans to show them the hard way.



I haven't sat on this sand dune since I was a snake. It's strangely comforting.

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Re: Chapter 3: The Wayward Philosopher
« Reply #5 on: September 08, 2013, 11:11:44 PM »
//An IC short story//

Pitch black surrounded the two, the ultravision spell allowing Zach to see the form of a man before him. A gloved hand tightly clutching a staff, a cloak and hood pulled low. The two hissed at each other in low tones.

.... And what if another great upheaval happens as a result? Did you not hear that part?

  That would not be ideal, I am certain we could prevent it. And if not, it matters little... The last Great Upheaval did not destroy the world.

Before I act fully I want to know what I am getting into.

  Without a doubt, there is knowledge here. Perhaps the greatest opportunity for knowledge that you or I will ever see....
  So he intends to control the mists?

You're not stating your position. You're half-answering the question.

  Could you imagine that power....
  This is it, Sorrill. This is it. It is all falling into place. It seeks power over the mists, that power could be ours. We must know how!



"Is something wrong?" A new voice spoke. Zach snapped back to reality, running his hand through his hair as he realized what happened.
"How long was I out for? How long have I been standing here staring at him?" Zach thought to himself, turning and pacing away to give himself a few moments to regain his composure. "He's staring. Come up with an answer, quickly!"
"I'm hoping that doesn't mean you consider the elf worthwhile to help us, because I won't work with him in that regard. He'll do things to get us killed." Zach replied, trying to regain control over the conversation. Beads of sweat formed on the back of his neck as he tried to control his panic.
"... He has surpassed me magically already..." The other man said. Zach struggled to hear him over the noise in his head.

... It's not passed my attention that I am, by far, the weakest caster. The least trained in many regards. I question if my concerns would be heard...

No, no, this was it. The conversation was over. This had to stop.

"Ultimately... Ultimately, it's not how many spells you can cast, it's what you know.... When you are pained like that and chase respect, you will never actually get it..... I chased it for a long time. It's only after you stop chasing and begin to be productive that you will find fulfillment. Fulfillment has to come from within." Zach said, finding words from his experiences. The rest of the conversation was a blur. Something about the elf and his nature, and how no one would be able to save him from himself. Just like Clydessa. He wanted to sleep though, good, Zach left.

Zach wandered into a meadow past the outskirts of town and sat by a tree, focusing on his breathing until he felt calm again. He pulled out his notebook and began to write.

Quote
The memory-altering spell, although broken, has left lasting effects on my mind. I've noticed that I do not feel any attachment to what happened to me in the past, until I think about it directly. I can usually control it, especially when I know I will be in a situation where I will be confronted with it. I don't believe I've been caught so off guard before. #B recommended working with him. I interpreted him as the elf. #B corrected me, and suddenly the memory of the last time we worked together filled my mind. The pain of being treated as nothing more than a common thief.

But I cannot focus on that element, I need to remain in control of myself. This isn't going to become any easier, I made that choice already. I have to overcome this problem.

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Re: Chapter 3: The Wayward Philosopher
« Reply #6 on: September 19, 2013, 03:34:09 AM »
I tell others when I teach them about the mists that ultimately, when the mists come for us, we walk alone. Perhaps it is simply my own curse I carry, although to make such a claim would be silly. It is a curse all of us bear. And with this in mind, it feels as though I stand on the other side of the mirror, looking at my past self. The inexperience of the past alienates the experience of the future. And in the present, I walk alone.

As I read this book, I'm left realizing that the future self will never trust the past self. It's disappointing. Perhaps Hare was right about one thing, peers of a school will simply not get along. For once I feel disappointment, and regret. 

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Re: Chapter 3: The Wayward Philosopher
« Reply #7 on: September 21, 2013, 10:32:24 AM »
With errands out of the way, I need to begin my next research project. Although I still plan to examine the manifestation of religion and deities in the Core, I might turn my immediate focus to the existence of Serafim. As a Core native, it is entirely possible she is not actually real and is a creation of the mists. I'm left wondering if she was specifically created to cause suffering in those around her, to break their wills. And then there's Sinovia. I was planning on not pursuing my snake-self's enchanting research, but Sinovia would be a prime opportunity to experiment with the charm spell to see if I can alter his disposition. He is self-destructive as it is, there will be no negative outcome. My major concern is the curse he carries, he stated he finds it impossible to say no to others. Although this in itself is curious. He clearly carries a mutation and a curse, but he does not seem to be aware of any boons granted to him. I am curious if it is the work of the Dark Powers or another force. It may be worthwhile to try and break the curse and see how he changes.

The lack of upcoming arcane talent is frustrating. Ideally my new business arrangement will work out and casters will be directed to me, as long as I keep supplying merchandise. The first two individuals coming my way are a girl, and a female tiefling. I highly doubt either will go far at all, but I will have to humour them. It raises a flaw in my plan, I should decide now what to do with hobbyists and those who simply are not going to take their studies anywhere. Every single tiefling I've met have been horrible failures that believe their blood means they get to run around and do what they wish. If this was the case, there wouldn't be so many human caster failures, if self-control is an inherent virtue of species. I view it as a pathetic excuse. Ideally this will be the only tiefling to come my way. Hopefully I will be able to meet a wider spectrum of talent, the Drain only attracts those who cannot survive on the surface. The weak-willed, the savage, the idiotic, and so-called necromancers who know nothing of the school and seek it out as though it is some ultimate power. I've only met one necromancer I like, and he is far too skittish to do extensive study with. My line of study will break the weak-minded, trying to study with the unprepared is to set them up for their own self-destruction. Regardless, even if I do not find talent with a strong enough will to research with, I would be satisfied meeting anyone who is producing interesting research. There are far too many hobbyists.

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Re: Chapter 3: The Wayward Philosopher
« Reply #8 on: January 09, 2014, 05:27:07 PM »
I see the way they look at me, they regard me as some kind of legend. True or not, too bad it doesn't help me find love for the evening. Not that I should sleep with anything, the consequence outweighs the satisfaction. I miss it, though.

At least Quinn is making progress with his studies. He seems more confident. But for what ends does he chase the illusion of reality? He doesn't want to go home, and he has declined advancement in his field. Where is it he wishes to find himself?

And then there is the thrice-rapist, Sesto the Sadistic. His words were telling. Allegedly guilty. Combined with being released after a week. Typically punishments relate to crimes committed. He was walking normally, it didn't seem like they chopped his biscuit. His punishment was a diet of blood.  I wonder what his actual crime was.
He couldn't understand why I was simply curious. Borcans never understand it, it's always about some sort of grand motivation behind everything. I saw it with Vasco a lot. I've got nothing to gain, no alternative motivation. How do I tell him, it's so far below my actual goal it is irrelevant? Would he accept it as an answer that curiosity and helping others is recreational for me, something I do to calm the nerves when I am not antagonizing the illusion of reality? My reality is so far outside of his own, I don't believe he could actually comprehend it.

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Re: Chapter 3: The Wayward Philosopher
« Reply #9 on: August 28, 2016, 08:05:48 PM »
//Bumping for future use.

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Re: Chapter 3: The Wayward Philosopher
« Reply #10 on: April 05, 2017, 11:42:20 PM »
That Anya girl didn't believe me when I warned her about the mists. She scoffed, stating that she had seen the horrors of the mists. I doubted it, no one who has ever experienced the mists would scoff at them. It's a shame, I should have taken her up on that offer, I would have preferred she become infected than the fellow I was hoping to teach. But, the mists likely know this, and wouldn't have come for her. Not at that time, at least. She is arrogant enough that I imagine they'll come play with her to take away everything she holds dear, to try and break that arrogance. The more confident one is, the harder they fall when they stumble. I wish I warned this fellow before we went out. I never would have thought that he would be targeted so quickly, I've never had the mists come on the second time I've spoken with someone.

I wonder where she's from. I've theorized that outlanders who die in the mists are re-created anew as play things, their souls put into new bodies. Based on the theory of false histories, and observations of creatures and even men being made by the mists, could it be possible that the mists would create a new body for an outlander who died in the Core? I've read the theories and have heard the speculations that nothing in the Core is real, that the even people aren't real. But they suffer the mists just as much as any outlander does, which leads me to believe they must have souls, they aren't purely puppets controlled by the mists. The souls must come from somewhere, which is where outlanders come into play. According to the history I've learned, the Core and its detached misty lands are ever expanding. Which would work with the idea-- With all of the new outlanders coming in and eventually dying, that would allow the world to expand.

I should see if this Anya is a native to this land. If so, I'll try and dig into any history regarding Anya Vadim, I'm fairly certain she was Torillian. It would be strange if reincarnates had the same name, it makes my heart ache to think I might encounter a Valkan.

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Re: Chapter 3: The Wayward Philosopher
« Reply #11 on: April 06, 2017, 03:49:54 AM »

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Re: Chapter 3: The Wayward Philosopher
« Reply #12 on: August 14, 2017, 02:12:49 AM »
Zach sat alone at a desk, his elbows resting upon it, massaging his forehead with his fingers. Every plan he had, now cancelled. How would he even continue forward from here. He should have known as soon as Salvisius revealed his paranoia. He should have known, when it reminded him of how paranoid his previous self was. He leaned back in his chair and laughed, the irony sinking in. He was now Bernard, Salvisius was him.

Zach didn't believe in coincidences. Every single person he got to know after awaking to his present self eventually betrayed him, at least two of them directly led to do so by the Mists. Imagine, all of this cumulating to this moment. Was this the game the Dark Powers were playing with him? That he would be betrayed the same way he betrayed a brother? All that paranoia and fear, clouding his mind, his decisions. His talents misplaced. If only he had put faith into the more experienced magician, and trusted him, how much better would things be. This is exactly what happened, this was it.

Not that he regret the outcome-- The previous self was horribly insane, he was thankful for the opportunity for salvation that came with the shattering of his memory. Perhaps someday Salvisius would find his salvation, perhaps he would awaken anew and rediscover who he is and what is important to him, but Zach didn't consider this his concern any longer.

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Re: Chapter 3: The Wayward Philosopher
« Reply #13 on: November 19, 2017, 08:59:55 PM »
[Written in a journal...]

Quote
From deep within the broken mirror I gazed into the shards of glass. I saw a man, abandoned by his companions as the shadows consumed him. The facade of light offering cure, while feeding upon his wounds to bolster its own ego so it may call itself a hero. From the darkness he found others, used and discarded. Filled with hatred for those who cast them there, and the desire to make them suffer as they have. And he himself, king of the godless night, proclaiming "I am Cyric, I will make them fear. Death is too good for them, for the dead suffer no longer."

From these shards I confronted the Harbinger with a simple statement: As long as the self-righteous exist, so too shall Cyric. For the fallen, the forgotten, are dismissed in their worship as simply greedy. And in that dismissal Cyric finds his way into the hearts of those who hold pain and desire revenge. Convinced I was not there to kill him, he listened. I told him about this godless world, the Dark Powers, how they give fake divinity when it suits their needs, how they have constructed the reality that surrounds us. It upset him, then he became skeptical, then he found his resolve. To some extent he believes me-- He has noticed the oddities of the world, a darkness foreign to him and pervasive. In his own words, straining his connection to his lord as though trying to suffocate it out. And with this, the experiment can begin.

The experiment is twofold.
One purpose hinges around that which I stated to him. As an agent of entropy, he will be more likely to discern the mechanisms of the Dark Powers. I told him in exchange for this particular kind of forbidden knowledge I wanted his observations on the world. He agreed to it, although if he follows through is another thing. I most certainly do not trust him. Regardless, I can observe how he reacts to the information presented to him. I have few leads to work on at the moment, using a Cyricist could potentially yield something new which I was blind to before. He certainly doesn't look at the problems of the world as a thing that needs fixing, which may allow him unique insights.

Two, the purpose I left unstated. I fear I am cursed, I dare not experiment and find out if it is true or not on anyone but a servant of evil, for if I am he will surely die. The last number of months have been filled with the deaths of everyone I have come to work with recently. Is it my curse that those who learn what I know shall die? That their fates shall be twisted so they meet their end? Is this my role in the game the Dark Powers play with me, that in my quest for knowledge others will suffer? I told the Harbinger everything, if he dies in a week I will know. But, would the Dark Powers allow such an ironic death? That a curse of truth will bring the end to a servant of deceit? And not just that, but a plaything of theirs which causes so much discord and is driving outlanders into a murderous frenzy?

Like always, I will watch and learn.


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Re: Chapter 3: The Wayward Philosopher
« Reply #14 on: December 14, 2017, 01:52:19 AM »
[Written in a journal...]

Quote
Through the sharded mirror the voice of a ghost spoke, teaching things I have no actual knowledge on. But even without first-hand knowledge, the lessons were important. A foundation from a place of order, a definition to that which this world has none. During the course of the conversation the topic of false histories arose, the irony not lost that the lesson began with a false history. It makes me uncomfortable to be able to relate with the original peoples in a newly emerged land, blindly believing that because it is in my head that makes it true and real. At times I worry, what if the reason I can't escape is because Faerūn doesn't exist, it is just another illusion spun by the cage keepers? Logically though, although those memories are distant to me, so are my first memories of this land, memories which are verifiable. I cannot let these doubts sway me, ultimately it doesn't matter if there is or is not a Faerūn. If I return home, I will have done so. If there is no home, regardless of what I do I will die here. I can't give up.

I had never planned on taking another apprentice. She is the exception, I took her in due to her uniqueness. She doesn't doubt me when I tell her just how dangerous the mists are, or argue about the corruptive potential of magic. I warned her about my curse, she accepted it and simply said, "the mists will come for us all one day."
I took her in, knowing the zealousness of her faith. During our lesson, it finally reared its head as she brought up her ideas on how magic could be used to force conversion. I cautioned her against it, she was receptive to my explanation. I've experienced and witnessed enough to safely say forcing magic on others as a means to accomplish one's own ends will draw the attention of the mists.

One of the core ideals I hope to impress on her is being able to discern the difference between utilizing magic for good and evil ends. For should she ever abuse magic, she will do so with the fullest conviction of goodness. I can only imagine, she will become either a great hero or wicked villain. Or, die before reaching the maturity of her talent, like so many others I have come to know.

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Re: Chapter 3: The Wayward Philosopher
« Reply #15 on: December 20, 2017, 12:24:30 AM »
Written in a journal...

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As I taught her, I saw reflections of an older man (or was he the same age I am now?), teaching me the same thing. As she replied, her words struck something as I saw her true self. I touched the mirror, and for a moment, I saw myself, and when my hand touched the mirror, it touched me back. I felt it, I saw it. The words, the purpose. I didn't truly understand my lessons all those years ago, but, my master said as much-- The great irony that understanding the purpose of why things are done how they are only comes with experience, but by the time someone gets that experience, they've lost the spry and spirit of youth.

I should tend to what I sought to do when I first arrived in this plane of darkness, having the knowledge I now carry. I will have to dedicate time to writing, to prepare a gathering. I have a cause all of us can unify to. Neither my apprentice nor the Harbinger have died from exposure to me and my knowledge, I might not truly be cursed. I must also prepare further lessons for my apprentice, in case time grows short. I want to teach her the fullest of my knowledge, but I can't in good conscience without knowing how my talents will be utilized. She has her own code firmly established, I do not know if both of ours can consolidate. And without that, I cannot pass on such a legacy to her.

Norture

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Re: Chapter 3: The Wayward Philosopher
« Reply #16 on: January 27, 2018, 01:05:36 AM »
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The death of Kaine Morrus revealed he had converted to Cyric after he was abandoned by everything he knew and loved. I felt it, I saw a razor shard of mirror reflecting back at me. That's how someone knows they've lost everything, that they've been abandoned by everything they thought they knew. No matter what, the darkness will take us in. The darkness has open arms, it will console us for what we are rather than shame us for what we are not. Kaine had many flaws, he was a very simple man who didn't understand right from wrong or how much danger he put himself in. Or the danger he put others in, which is why I warned Anya about the Dementlieu incident. But that's what separates the Dark Sun from the Morninglordians-- What reputation do the Cyricists have to ruin? How could Kaine possibly screw up? As long as outcasts exist who are unwanted by everyone else, Cyric will find his way into the hearts of men.

In these final moments with Kaine I realized how outcasts would be left out of any movement I started to try and bring outlanders together to return home. The forces of light simply do not understand what it's like to have lost everything, what goes through the mind of someone in that state of being. Messages of hope and love are meaningless. Chastising them is pointless, they know they are "wrong" and "bad", rubbing their face in it only further alienates them. Or outcasts will be outright ignored. But is that a reason to damn them to this forsaken plane? I want to believe all of us deserve to return home, regardless of our crimes. So we can be judged by our own laws and gods and not by the hand of a malevolent master.

I had my doubts it would work, but I had to try. Outcast outlanders have few they can turn to. I don't know of any Maskaran priests (they must exist, it is their nature that I do not know them I suppose), the Harbinger was the only option visible to me. I was hoping he would try and handle working with outcasts, on the premise that if gods don't touch this world his work for Cyric is for naught. During the previous conversation his hate towards the cage keepers was strong enough this was potentially a plausible outcome. However, he's been consumed by his ego. While he agrees with me in regards to the scope of the dark powers and that they corrupt people of this world, he believes they cower before Cyric. He gave several examples of how those who oppose him were corrupted by the Mists, the irony lost on him that he's fallen prey to the same delusions.


I decided long ago that personal choice had to be respected. While back home freedom was code, here, freedom is the choice we exercise. Trying to prohibit a choice will only result in destructive behaviour. The cage keepers allure us all with honey, offering us to lap it up as darkness closes around us. We choose to lap it up, intervention is only met with violence. We need to come to the choice to stop feeding ourselves, the choice comes from within. The best I can do is encourage people to remember they can always choose to stop, before the honey begins flowing. But the allure of honey is blinding, and so many drink to death.

Harbinger chose death. Salvisius chose death. Tarius chose death. Anselme chose death. Vasco chose death. Valkan chose death. Karas chose death. Quinn chose (did he die?). Serafim became the monster she always was on the inside. Livia became her inner demons. Leander chased monsters until he became one. I have no idea what happened to Nikolaz, Anastacia, Bernard, or Nara'ia. Death surrounds me. For the life of me I cannot find Serilda. It pains me greatly to have lost her, but I think back to the last time I spoke with her. Her conviction towards Ezra, that no matter how she died it would be worthwhile. I didn't want to let her down, I wanted to believe she would be different from the others, that she would survive.

And yet, this new fellow appeared, seeking to cure his aimlessness with my company. I warned him he walks a dangerous path. None of them believe me until it's too late.




I will hold true to what I said, I have zero intention to deal with politics or hunting except in regard to the abuse of magic. That's what the Dark Powers want from us, to kill each other like we would want to back home. They want us to play and dance, they want heroes to fall and villains to give way to their most debased desires. As such, I question how much time Harbinger has left in this world. Although, also notable, he is the only one I have told everything I know to who hasn't died yet. Perhaps the cage keepers want him alive and manipulate the world in such a way to let him live. Either way, his future is decided. I wonder if, when he lies there dying, if he'll give a thought to The Scholar being right all along. Although, it's more likely he will be satisfied with death knowing the chaos he caused.

Hopefully he and the Banites deal with each other.



The next step is to move forward as I had previously planned. I didn't want to proceed gathering people until I had an idea of what kind of questionable support I might have. And vouching for villains would damn the project early into it. Perhaps it is fortunate he refused-- It would cause more chaos if he agreed.







I shouldn't involve myself in dealing with the misuse of magic, but it's become hard for me to ignore. The hedge-wizard who hurls fireballs at livestock. The outskirts mage who becomes a dragon. A multitude of preventable deaths if only the magician was more educated. The defilement of the self into a chromatic abomination. Why is there so much focus on necromancy as a force of evil when the vast majority of crimes against magic are through other schools?
If I make it home, if they allow me to live, I would hope to dedicate the rest of my life in service of Mystra and Azuth. As it is, I teach their dogmas to those who wish to learn from me, their faiths teach a proper and responsible method for using magic. Even if they do not touch this world, the lawlessness surrounding magic needs even a verbal ounce of their influence to try and inspire order.
And, if I make it home I want to bring criminal uses of magic to justice. After all of the abuses of magic I've seen in this world that my fellow outlanders turn a blind eye to, including outright manslaughter, I've come to realize how large of a problem this is. If it's not a necromancer or prolific villain, nobody cares. Adventurers only wish to line their wall with trophies, and I've seen first hand how the supposed forces of good are more than willing to look the other way  for the sake of their friends. If any goodness has come from my time in this world, it has been this revelation. I hope I will have the opportunity right at least one wrong in a world where wrongs can actually be righted.


Norture

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Re: Chapter 3: The Wayward Philosopher
« Reply #17 on: February 08, 2018, 07:05:40 PM »
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It's not often I encounter a man so driven he is willing to forsake everything he previously accepted as a worldly truth. I could tell the first time I met Lucien he was unlike a lot of other Barovians I've met, he took interest in my conversation on the supernatural, and had a lot of thoughts about the beasts of the night. He is willing to accept that magic can be a tool used against monsters, but, as such, I warned him it can be every bit as vile and corruptive as folklore would have him believe. I want to teach him these lessons before he ends up falling into circles of people who would entrench him in bad habits. A man who wants to hunt the undead could easily find a place among the Wayfarers, they certainly have some well-grounded individuals. But they also have reckless kill chasers and morally ambiguous magicians. Regardless of my thoughts, I didn't want to outright criticize the organization to him.

And then, Lexington demonstrated my point for me. After I warned people in the outskirts a vampire was present and all should head indoors, he aided me with herding them inside. He told those present how we shouldn't attack a vampire without a plan, he described how a vampire hunt should happen, and how if we attack it right now we will only be injured and end up feeding it. I was pleased to finally hear some sense from someone and thought maybe the Wayfarers had changed. Then, that Maren girl ran outside, and he warded himself to protect her. Minutes later she returned asking for me, saying Lexington gravely needed my help, and to go outside warded. I did so, fearing the worst. Once outside I saw him standing before the vampire, and a giant crowd surrounding the two. The two clashed briefly before the vampire returned to mist and retreated. Being able to see the mist, I told them it was retreating, it was heading off towards the well. What did they do? They chased. They chased something they couldn't see, with Lexington leading the pack. After all that talk, Lexington went and did the thing he just told everyone not to do, with a huge crowd eager to follow his lead. On top of it, in his zeal he forgot vampires aren't stupid. It's not going to appear in front of the crowd trying to destroy it, instead it circled back around looking for stragglers to hunt.

Fortunately Lucien was present inside for the speech. I told him what happened outside, and let it be a lesson in outlander monster hunting hypocrisy. That is exactly the kind of behaviour I want him to be aware of and not emulate, I'm glad he got to experience it without being injured by it.

As a wizard there's only so much I can teach him, given his affinity towards the natural world. I directed him towards Theron in hopes it might be beneficial towards him. In my limited experiences with Theron, he seems to understand the nature of the world more fully than several others I've come across. His approach towards the world seems better grounded than many others as well. He has an appreciation of knowledge, and a desire to understand rather than assume. Of course, appearances can be deceiving. Hopefully this wasn't a bad decision. I'll have to ask Lucien in detail how his training went. I hope Theron will teach him in a way that makes him appreciate the power he can draw from, while also treating it as suspect due the corruption of nature itself in this world. At least, that is how I try and teach magic, and nature is much more visibly corrupt than the Weave.

As for the vampire, it is rather unusual. It carried a shield with the symbol of the black sun, and its armour was styled similarly to the other Cyricists. Another in the temple thought it was "typical" or some such, as though just because Cyric is evil that of course a vampire is going to be a Cyricist. I asked her, how many vampries has she seen that have openly worshipped Cyric? This is certainly the first I've seen. She paused to think about it and had to agree. People are too eager to accept the world they see at face value. This new fact tells me something she would have missed-- The Cyricists have a new audience who are interested in the message of the Dark Sun, the religion potentially caters to the selfish nature of a vampire. If this is the case, it could become a rather serious issue as the religion spreads among the denizens of the night. I might be able to find Anya and bring it to her attention, or Agnes. Both seem to be reasonable.


I am having difficulty coming across references to some of the unnatural magical phenomena I have encountered, such as spells pulling themself from the caster mid-cast and animating as a hostile elemental-like horror. Other individuals encountered this with me, I have no idea if any of them are still alive. My sample size on aberrant magic behaviour is rather small, piecing together an idea of the Weave (or the lack thereof) in this world is both difficult and unconvincing. I'll have to keep finding more sources.

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Re: Chapter 3: The Wayward Philosopher
« Reply #18 on: February 18, 2018, 12:58:49 AM »
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I'm at a point where I need to put my theories to practice. If I do not have full conviction in myself and my beliefs the mists will prey upon my weakness, like they have in the past.
Through my research it's become disturbingly more clear that Ezra appears to be the only deity in this world  there are no gods in this world. Only the Dark Powers, and an aspect absorbed into them named Ezra. From everything I have seen, Ezrite priests are the only ones able to call upon miracles unique to their faith-- They can pray for the mists to obey them.

It only makes sense that, when handling the mists, I regard the deity who protects from them.
As an outlander, like many others, I've been wary of the church in the past. Witnessing that elven inquisitor burn a woman alive for being a "witch" certainly elevates the desire to avoid them for self-preservation. Their monotheistic nature balks us as well. Many of us come from polytheistic realms and would otherwise pay her respect as being the deity that protects from the villainous mist.

At some level I believe we are so accustomed to our own homelands, we refuse to see what is right in front of our faces. Some of it is out of pride, how preposterous it seems that magic could be so evil when it appears to function how it should, we assume we "know better" than the superstitious populations that surround us. But fear could be another factor-- Shedding everything we have come to know and accept as truth is frightening. The reality of the world is frightening.

Speaking with Warden Garrett was enlightening. The tale of Ezra confronting the mists resonates with how accurate it is to a true mist encounter. There are several truths to the faith that parallel the mechanations of the world, and his examples of Ezra protecting him and the faithful from the mists are inspiring. All of 5th day was inspiring, actually. I feel a sense of hope, that returning home is something I can achieve.

While I wouldn't suggest all outlanders convert (for that would make us False, as I doubt we would continue worship once we return home), I believe we should regard Ezra as an aspect of goodliness that protects from the mist. As I read the books of Ezra I thought about each revelation and the truths to each book. Just as there is an evil aspect to the Dark Powers that is frequently evoked, there seems to be a goodly side as well that is much less frequently called upon. Even if Ezra is entirely a creation of the Dark Powers and never actually existed, the goodness Ezrites are able to call upon with the mists directly is undeniable, the good aspect is there. And the faith teaches how to protect oneself from the dark aspect that preys upon us.



I encountered Quinn again the other day. It's been years since I saw him last. He's even more skittish than I remember, but, I'm quite happy to see he isn't letting the past rule him. He abandoned the dark path he was put on in his youth, even at great cost to himself. I'm proud of him. And honoured, he said I gave him the strength to do it. At some point I'll have to find out what his plans are.


I haven't spoken to Theron lately, I'm curious if he has any leads as to his research. I've tried reaching out to people who might know things about the line of shadowy occurrences in Barovia, but so far I haven't heard a reply. If I could, I'd encourage both him and Anya to find a way home, but both might be caught on what they view as their duty to the world.

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Re: Chapter 3: The Wayward Philosopher
« Reply #19 on: February 18, 2018, 10:58:29 AM »
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After further contemplation regarding Quinn, his issue was never falling to the dark arts. They were a fact of his life due to his upbringing, he never had the fervor of a magician deeply interested in a subject. His real weakness, the one the Dark Powers exploited in him, was his loneliness. I'll be mindful of him and observe him and see if he has made any improvements in that regard.

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Re: Chapter 3: The Wayward Philosopher
« Reply #20 on: March 15, 2018, 01:41:07 PM »




Zach stood within the small room, reading a paper passed his way. Each word filled him with a greater sense of unease, the shattered fragments of his memory each reflecting back different reasons to be concerned. Surely since he found out about it, they knew as well. He thought on what happened last time.






How many people would die this time? Would a hero stand forth to give their life to save the world? Or, would the ambitions of wizardlings lead them to rip apart the already frail fabric of the plane? They already recorded desiring a means outside of necromancy. If they tapped into the Weave instead of utilizing captured souls, what horrors would they unleash upon the world? He was unsettled enough to come across evidence that the Shadow Rift could possibly be expanding. He hadn't considered before the potential limits of the Dark Powers for creation and maintaining the plane. Or do the Dark Powers even care if their creation rips apart, would they just harvest the lost souls trapped within their black clutches and create a new misty plane, the souls placed into new bodies, each with new memories they remember as always having been? Is this why the Dark Powers appear to not particularly care to stop cataclysmic events? Or were their actions invisible to his limited perspective, did they nudge would-be heroes forward to see what would happen? Regardless, the concept of gambling the integrity of the world on the behaviour of mortals was both upsetting and plausible.

Zach sighed and looked down at his papers strewn about the nearby table. What purpose did his research even serve? It would take years to properly research the Ezrite faith and correlations between it and the observable reality. Years the world might not have left. It is such an obvious thing to study, others have likely done so themselves. What was he trying to accomplish? There was nothing left now, he needed to focus on finding a way home.



 "You appear rather unhappy at the news, hmm?" A voice spoke out from nearby, breaking the silence. A man with short wavy brown hair and a dusty jacket gave a lopsided grin.
 "I'm utterly flabbergasted at this revelation." Zach replied, returning the paper to him.
 "It presents a number of opportunities, doesn't it." He said, his eyes sharp with interest.
 "Up until the Kargat finds out and comes to investigate." Zach said flatly.
 "Ah, you've always carried a sense of paranoid pessimism, haven't you. More than likely nothing will come of it, just like most of the strange happenings that occur in the world. The research that could come out of this is far more interesting." He said.
 "These hobbyists will rip the world apart with their dabbling, they lack the skill of an archwizard to know what they are doing" Zach said.
 "I agree, but consequently I am unconcerned. They lack the skill to destroy anything but themselves. I will ask, how many wizards have you observed destroy themselves through their pursuits? Or, even more likely, fail to follow through out of their lack of ambition? Opportunities falling into their lap, and what do they do?" He asked.
 "Mmh." Zach hummed, frowning as he thought.
 "But then, I suppose your line of research leads towards epic conclusions, doesn't it. That pessimism comes from someplace." He continued, chuckling. "I won't interrupt your writing any further, I'll be certain to let you know if their study progresses."
Zach gave a short nod and thanks before returning to his table, papers scattered in front of him. Pulling one of the papers forward, he dipped a quill into ink and began to add notes under a section, "Escape potential."