Author Topic: Glitter and Gloom  (Read 234 times)

Shadowlancer

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Glitter and Gloom
« on: July 04, 2017, 03:14:34 PM »

The Diary of Fenya Nianne

(All passeges are witten in a flowing elvish font)
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I suppose I should begin this record of myself with the fact that it was through the words of a friend that I write these words in the first place. I have never been one for discipline, or words with the exception of music and to be honest, I do not think my experiences or knowledge will be that helpful to anyone else. I have lived my life thus far as a traveling musician, having been formally trained Sildeyuir as a Dirge. The position itself had some appeal to me, being the one responsible for helping ferry the spirits of the fallen into the next life through song and instrument, as well as providing solace and comfort to the ones who mourn. But my friends said I had something called a “free spirit”, and I would not let myself be bound to live out a life as long as mine trapped in the Sildeyuir. Though it was home, it also felt like a prison of sorts.

So I left. Setting out on my own as a young elf lass I travelled to the city of Neverwinter with nothing but my performance skills, my sense of humor, and a longbow. There, I quickly made friends among the local elite, and in no time at all had become court Jester to the high nobles of their society. This was fulfilling for a time, but again, I felt the need to wander. This time, the call came to me in a dream to go east, farther even than the Yuirwood. That my path still lay somewhere that direction. So again, I set out, taking the time to stop by my home in the Sildeyuir and visit my family before continuing onwards. But it seemed the roads I should travel were meant to be elsewhere, as I walked one night a great mist surrounded me, lulling me into a sleep and when I woke I found myself in a new land. A strange, terrifying, and harsh new land.

The locals call this place Barovia, which I think to mean crap hole in their language. It certainly feels that way. Magic is mistrusted, the guards are power mad enough to make a Banite blush, and I am not only mistrusted and hated because I am an elf, but also because I am something called an ‘outlander’. I certainly feel like I am from other lands than here.

I have made friends and allies in the short time I have been here. Even had a poor fellow make a pass at me (I had to cut the poor boy down like wheat ready for harvest), but still, as the days pass I begin to feel more and more like an outsider.

If there is anything I do know, it is that music cures all that ales you. I shall endeavor for now to simply spread that message through my instruments.
~~ Fenya ~~





Shadowlancer

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Re: Glitter and Gloom
« Reply #1 on: July 13, 2017, 11:44:28 AM »
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I am beginning to fear that this land will take away a part of myself. Little pieces, here and there, drifting off into the Mists never to return again to their rightful owner. Never again to know what it might be like to love, and be loved in return. I feel the love of the close friends I have made so far in Locklyn, Ferren, Taelar, Michael, Val, and Jake. But it is not the same. It is not the same as it is to be with someone, to be close enough to feel their heartbeat. To breathe in their warmth, and feel that security again in another’s arms.

I must admit, I have not thought of Tae’lathan in a long time. Somehow, at some point after leaving the Yuirwood I drove thoughts of him from my mind like a farmer drives cattle across a river and eventually I came to not think of him at all within my mind, but he was still there within my heart. Some of my friends are coupled with some of my other friends, I suppose this is why Tae has come back into my mind.  I see my friends being in love with one another, and while I am genuinely happy for them the sight only echoes the hollow pangs in my own heart. While I still feel I could have been joined to Tae, my mind reminds me that I am indeed better off without him. Without the baggage that came with him.

Though now that I am in the land of the Mists, knowing with surety that I shall never see him again only compounds the sense of loss.
Perhaps I will try to use these feelings to write a song of how I feel, perhaps I will simply wither into an old, lonely crone of an elf. Only time will tell.

At least, in the meantime, I can still bury my own feelings deep enough to keep up my happy attitude and mission. All lands deserve a little light, even this one.

~ Fenya~