[This entry stands out from the others - her Rokuma lettering is shaky and broken, moving disorderly across the page.]
Each day, the lulls in memory grow longer, and when I wake, I have caused more, more pain, to myself and others.
My mind is too disordered for haiku. I am consumed by chaos.
I fight sleep because I do not wish to harm anyone.
My mind is scattered to the four winds, broken.
They say, they say it may be the cards.
Oh, how selfish I have been!
It is only now that
see just how
much people
care.
Let
me be
whole once more,
I've no wish to be a burden,
And I do not know, in all honesty,
Just how much more my body, my mind, my soul can bear.
The blackness. The thickness. The loss of self to a river of blood and tears.
Shinzo. Valenya. Zidonne. Zachary. Ingwulf. Musashi. Temperance. Mareta. Where would I be without your aid?
I will treasure you most highly, for I have been inward-looking. And as the sun sets on my sanity, the last thought is of the hurt I will cause you.
~~~~
The Sickness ~ What I Know
Ren - The Water Lily - The self to which I cling...
Rin - The Lonely One - The one who cries and seeks to die.
Ran - Chaos, Disturbance - The Violent War-General
Rei - The Obedient - The one who could be so easily abused.