Within the swirling Mist (IC) > Biographies

Chapter 3: The Wayward Philosopher

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Norture:
Chapter 1: Pages added to the back of a wizard's spellbook

Chapter 2: A Serpent's Story


The meeting went about as well as I could have hoped for. I wasn't exploded with spells on the spot. Although, he was very nervous to see me. I think he expected me to be there for revenge, after all why would I come back? Once he sees the books I gave him, it should make sense. I told him, my research is taking me down a dangerous road, my knowledge needs a good home, with people who actually appreciate it. I told him I would be in the Vallaki area conducting further research, that it is all I truly want to do. I don't believe I will be assassinated, especially considering my current research is on the Dark Powers themselves. What a dangerous field of study! I will either die or be sent home in the process, and the resulting knowledge will be in their hands, without them having to risk themselves.

Although it lingers in the back of my mind what the Dark Powers told me of the world. They laughed at me, how little I knew. That all of this is an illusion, a thing of their creation. If I were to take this as fact at complete face value,

      The implications are astounding. Those who would seek to control the Dark Powers could possibly be created by the Dark Powers

  But when I truly stop and think about it, it does all fall into place. The focus on illusions.
    Are these illusions that have become self-aware, and wish for free will? To break free from their creators?


I never know when I have stumbled upon an important realization or simply a coincidence when it comes to the makings of the world. It is not something intended for mortals to comprehend.



And then there's the snake's studies. I had to make sure they made their way to their intended audience, it only seemed right. I feel like I owe that much to the memory of him. Over a year ago, I recall there being interest in my end of the research. Which was pursued by the snake, despite a severe handicap. The snake had even greater ambitions with enchantment that I don't believe I could bring myself to study anymore, not after what I learned about the Dark Powers. I don't want to lose myself in their game, not again. If I can, I will work against the game and see if I can undermine it enough to get sent home.

It's strange being in Vallaki again. The familiarity is almost comforting, although I'm sure the feeling will be fleeting.

Norture:
That bird. That bird, that bird, that bird. I'd recognize it anywhere.

Maybe I was wrong, maybe they simply don't hire assassins. Maybe they just figure I'll walk to my own death. Which I will, because I see it as futile to hide.
Will I wake up tomorrow as a snake again?
Is it my own sin of pride that I think there's value in what I know and have studied? I wouldn't say so. I am holding to my belief that there is value in knowledge. I knew this was a potential outcome. I suppose deep down, I didn't want to believe it would happen. That I'd be left to research. The Dark Powers did state how if they wished me to not exist, I wouldn't. Were they simply waiting for me to lead myself to my own death?

Or maybe I'm just startled. That bird terrifies me.
Perhaps they just want to talk about my research.


He is here. That is his bird.

Why am I more afraid than I was the last time stood in the misted land?

Norture:
Serafim is a vampire. The last woman I allowed myself to love. The woman that wasn't there for me when I needed her most, and left me broken and beaten in the gutter. And worst of all, she looks like the woman I loved back home. She is a Core native, I'm sure it's just part of the game the mists play with me. 

All of those people who judged me, insulted me for being weak, who left me in the worst pain I had ever been in. As macabre as it is, I find I get along with them much better after they've died. Serafim described how she, too, was now abandoned by everyone she knew. How she begged to not be turned. But also her greed, how she wished all of her old friends would join her, so they'd be with her. Well, darling, now you know what it's like to lose everything. After I lost it all, I wanted the power to inflict nightmares on everyone who insulted me, so they too could understand what it was like, so they too would suffer. In the end, that is when we know we are all alone, when we have no one to suffer with us and so we must wish our suffering onto others.

For years, people insulted me for my inaction. That I wasn't prepared to just strike against a lord of a nation or some beast of the night. Even Absalom, who suggested work against slavery in Hazlan. Absalom had a reputation for uncovering child fighting rings in Dementlieu, but when it came down to it, he violated some of the most sacred aspects of the Code. I have no idea how many people he put at risk out of his own greed. He chased his greed, he wanted fame and fortune and political power. That's not to say I haven't brutally butchered the Code myself, especially during those long dark months after the nightmares came for me and the Vardo betrayed me. I wanted to believe I was irredeemable, I wanted to see just how wrong the world could make me. In reflection, that's when I began to befriend monsters. That's when I became a monster myself. But, just over a year ago, I learned that there is no such thing as irredeemable. All it takes is a reason to remember the old ways, and for me it was the possibility that home was at risk. I couldn't stand by and watch something threaten home, no matter how much I loathed this world. But in retrospect, I really didn't accomplish anything at all. I almost threw my life away like Nara'ia did. Was her sacrifice worth it?

 I wouldn't change what happened, though. My snake-self reflected an entirely different personality within me, and the Dark Powers courted the snake disturbingly frequently. I recall quite clearly all of the times temptation would lurk, waiting to grab me. But, I refused, simply because what I truly wanted was never being offered. The snake-self was very coldly logical. And through all of it, that's all I really needed. My snake-self had seemingly impossible goals that he worked towards. After I was put into a human body again, there were no more paths left to walk. Clearly the only thing left to do was target the Dark Powers themselves and try to get sent home. Through this, Valkan became a victim to them, and I got to observe some of their workings more closely. All of the people I knew who insulted me for my inaction died or are lost chasing the darkness themselves, going from monster to monster like it means something. I was never satisfied with such simple actions, there was always something deeper involved, I didn't want to strike until I knew what I was striking against. And through everything, I now see it clearly. I see the game played with everyone, I see the patterns. People struggling with their own compassion to try and fix the world become slaves to it, lashing out at the first thing they can. Anastacia asked me with my research to find out how to prevent evils from rising. She is entirely misguided, we must prevent ourselves from attacking these evils. Our very existence is what makes these evils in the first place. The old code simply does not work in this world, as our very nature becomes our shackles. And through the darkness and gazing at the illusion of reality itself came the new code,

The illusions appear to be safe, they never are. The reality is quite horrible, learn to recognize it.

Friends and loved ones are dangerous. They will be used against us in this cruel game. We must learn to stand strong, alone, to minimize the harm caused to ourselves and others.

Our own emotions will be used against us. They are a core thing to us that the Dark Powers push us to chase. Hope, joy, hate, greed, sadness, all tools.

Violence is never the answer. Recklessly killing is never the answer. These too are tools that will be used against us.

In the end, we will walk alone and make our choices alone, no matter who stands beside us. At home, the goal was to allow everyone personal freedom. This world is a dark mirror to the goal. Respect peoples' choices, for nothing we do shall change them. Realizations are something someone has to come to themselves. Many people cannot be saved, for they've become blinded to the darkness they chase.


This is all in stark contrast to the old code, but it is the only way to truly work in this world without bringing harm to everyone around us. The Wayfarers hurl themselves at every monster they can, but to what ends? The only light in this world comes from within. We are lone candles in the dark, and very very few will ever understand what this truly means.

Norture:
I'm quite surprised to see the Vardo being kicked out of the Drain is having such a negative impact. There's enough crooks out there that their services could be filled quite rapidly, I'd assume. Not to mention all of the times the Vardo spat at the Drain or used it. It seemed like the only people who ever actually cared about what went on down there was me, Dimitri, and Vlodoi. And last I heard, Vlodoi was working with Jarrskin to take over both the Drain and the Vardo, possibly with some Boritsi or Romulich ties. I wonder what came of that. As much as people like whispering about the Boritsi, I'd put my bets on the Romulich being involved. They've been quiet for a long time, they're probably scheming something up. A lot of money flows through Vallaki, and it's the Vardo that's tapping it.

Then there's those freshly-misted wizards I've been testing. There's a reason why the term freshly-misted is used to describe people, and why I won't go out on a limb for people who haven't survived here for a while. Amadeus is interesting, but seems to have no capacity to adapt. Black is too reckless, and doesn't listen. He will most likely have to learn for himself the hard way several times until he's useful. If he survives. He reminds me of Valkan in that sense, Valkan learned the hard way and burnt many, many bridges in his path. And I've got that scar on my arm to always remind me about people like Valkan.

The other two wizards might be useful.
One is quite cunning, but is too busy trying to survive to really push himself. It's a shame. If things get bad, I'll do for him what I did for Ferret long ago. If he really proves himself, there are options available that could "cure" his condition.
The other is very promising. I have a few concerns left that I need to address, but he is already a mature research-oriented wizard. He seems like he would be able to handle the dark truths of the world. I would enjoy studying with him more.

Norture:
That's it. I'm out until the dust settles. The Drain is getting far too dangerous. I'd much rather have the Vardo around than the people Skinny wants to bring in, and as far as I know, the Vardo's still dangerous to me. That whole run brought back a whole lot of bad memories, and I'm not going to tie myself down to a bunch of criminals again. I hope Skinny noticed how they treated him, he can expect a whole lot more of that if he keeps chasing them. My focus is research, I'm not going to lose sight of that. It's just too messy to get tangled up in, I'm not certain if any of them really know much about these groups in the first place. It was a nasty surprise seeing him there. I'm not touching any of this. I don't think any of them know just how dangerous it was to have witnessed that, in Barovia. I doubt any of them could identify who that was.

It's times like now when I realize I probably know more about the Vallaki underworld than most of the active faces I see. And I don't even know a whole lot, not at all. When they ask for information from me, it's always about some new face. Some upstart who won't be around in six months. They never ask me, who are the big names. Who are the established folk. There's a lot of worse people out there than the Vardo, it'll take a few Borcans to show them the hard way.



I haven't sat on this sand dune since I was a snake. It's strangely comforting.

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